The Dora Toothbrush

I wouldn't exactly call myself a feminist, but something like that. I don't know, you read what I have to write and then tell me what it sounds like...

So Jacob came to work with me tonight and the playground supervisor kept an eye on him while I was teaching my little class. After that we got all picked up and left work, but we were so near Hannaford that I thought we should go in and get Jacob some cheese sticks. I left this part out of the whole Walmart experience yesterday - on our way there Jacob was so friggin excited about getting cheese sticks that he started clapping his hands and saying "I so happy that we going to da store to get cheese sticks!" the pitch in his voice rising with each word. My heart just swelled because Jacob has always been a really happy kid. When he was a baby he was happy all the time and we said it was because we gave him everything he needed (you know, the whole 'attachment' parenting thing). Anyway, we've had a rough few months lately with him, he was just a different kid. Grouchy and whiny all the time. And it was hard to be around him like that, it was crushing. But it wasn't that I wanted to be away from him because I can't remember ever wanting to be away from him, it was that I wanted the old him back.

So anyway, heart swelling: It swelled because I am just getting past the point where I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around him, and I'm coming to expect this super-happy kiddo to be present again, and not the troublesome toddler.

Well, so, Walmart didn't have cheese sticks yesterday. No cheese sticks... really? So I felt awful that I couldn't get them for him because he was such a good little helper with Evy. I was thinking that I could instead get him a Dora video because we don't own one of those, nor do we have cable, so his one allotted 30 or so minutes of TV a day is usually a Bob the Builder video, but lately he's been all about Dora. I wanted a vhs, for certain reasons, but I couldn't find them anywhere (and remember that he is walking and I am pushing a stroller, as well as carrying a basket) so I finally found someone in that department (you can never find anyone to ask) to ask and his answer: "We don't carry vhs." What?? Since when? Did you guys know that? That they are phasing out vhs? Well, we do have a dvd player but we didn't get it until this year.

So we were heading to the store tonight for cheese sticks and dried mango from the bulk isle of the natural foods section. We left with a lot more than that. One item was a new toothbrush for Jacob since the puppy chewed his other brand new one.

Thank God I happened to walk down the aisle with toothbrushes because I had totally forgotten he needed a new one. So there we stood trying to make a decision. I pulled out some choices, all of which were Pooh characters and let him have a look. Then I spotted the Dora toothbrush. I whipped it out and was like "ohhh, would you like this one?" I have this thing with gender roles and how we start the kids so young into thinking that if you are a girl everything you have has to be pink and if you are a boy it has to be all about tools and cars. Where does this come from? Why is it such a big deal to have these strict gender divisions? So I'm always trying to rebel against this and test the boundaries. There's that ever-existing double standard that girls can cross the line and it's ok, but people would get sketched out to see a boy in a dress. She's a tomboy, nothing wrong with that; I was one. But a boy would be a fairy or sissy or whatever. So I think it's cool that Jacob likes Dora and I encourage it, but even I am hesitant to buy him a babydoll shirt in pink or purple just to push the limit.

A couple weeks ago a catalog came for a company where you can custom design a doll to look just like your daughter...your daughter. They didn't have any boys in there! Not in the whole catalog. Why can't a boy have a doll that looks like him? Jacob has dolls, but apparently he can't have one to match his physical description. I was so pissed that I brought the catalog to music class that night to show Danielle and express my disbelief.

I am laughing to myself as I write all of this because 2 or 3 years ago, even last year at this time, I was so puritanical (?) about all this stuff. I used to say that I would never buy my kid something with a character on it. I can't stand the overabundance of crap that we have in America, the constant stream of marketing shoved in our faces all day long, and the obsession with consumerism. I am all about getting rid of stuff that is not needed and the idea that everything that we could possibly need already exists in the world and doesn't need to be made by an 8 year-old in some third world country or whatever to satisfy the 'needs' of us gluttonous Americans. This is where a lot of my hating Walmart comes from, if you hadn't guessed. Well then Jacob started liking Bob the Builder and to see the joy it brought him was something I was not prepared for. I made an 'exception' for Bob. Only things with Bob could I buy him. And the rest, well I don't really know when I completely lost all hold of my value system. This year has been busy like no other, it really could have happened anytime and I was just too busy to realize what I was doing.

So Jacob didn't pick Dora, not even the pink Heffalump one, he ended up with a red & yellow Tigger. And that was fine with me. So we were halfway to the cheese aisle when he went running back to peruse the choices in kids' toothpaste. All along I'm telling him that we are, under no circumstances, buying toothpaste tonight because we don't need it. Then just as I was about to pick him up to get him to the cheese isle, he declared with 100% certainty, "This is the one I want." to the Disney princess toothpaste. I was so proud that I almost broke down and bought it. Almost. That's my boy!