The Little House

Jacob has this house that I made for him out of the new bathtub box way back when the renovation was something for which there was an end in sight. It's moved around the house as needed, but has always been here, serving as a little place for Jacob to go. I'm small enough and the house big enough that I can easily get in there, and I have actually thought on occasion that maybe I should use the little house as my own hide-away.

When Idona and Danielle were here with their kids just before Christmas, things got a little out of control and the little house became unindated with stuff. As everyone was getting ready to leave, I crept in there to take an inventory. It was full to bursting. There was stuff in there I'd been searching high and low for and there was stuff I hadn't yet realized had gone missing. I discovered that the dryer monster wasn't actually eating Jacob's socks; he had six individual mates stashed away in the corner of the little house. There were half a dozen clementines, some potatoes from the cupboard, a can of dog food. A kitchen towel, some books, most of the Christmas cards we'd been getting in the mail were also hidden away. And many other things too random to even remember were contained in those four cardboard walls. I didn't hesitate cleaning house and getting things back into their rightful places, but later when Jacob discovered what I did he was pissed. I hadn't realized this would be seen as such an intrusion. I explained to him that I had to take those things out because they belonged to us all and I needed them left where they belong.

It really got me thinking that maybe Jacob needs a place he can call his own. He's got his room that he doesn't sleep in, but holds most of his toys; it's still my domain though. I told Jacob that the little house could be his place where he keeps things that I don't take out. I was careful to explain that the things he keeps in there must only belong to him, and not items that belong to everyone in the house. I said I would stay out of his house and only go in if there was something he took that I need back. Jacob has held me to this. Even if I try to enter on friendly terms, I am usually turned away. I suppose all this is good practice, not only for Jacob in learning how to keep his room neat, but also for me in that there are going to be places in his future where I am not allowed.

I am a control freak so this increasing freedom of ownership is going to be hard for me to deal with. At what point do you have to relinquish control completely? If I am the one who does the picking up, does that not entitle me to be in the places where the picking up occurs? What if I am still doing Jacob's laundry when he is 15? Does this allow me to open his drawers? Ah...this is all stuff that is to come. Right now I'm just trying to figure things out one day at a time. I'm mostly winging it, and I have no doubt that that will ever change...