All Things Poop Related...

"When Nature Calls...We Answer!" That's the motto for the septic service company that's doing the excavating in our backyard. I also found this one: "We're #1 in the #2 Business" Zach and I think that's hilarious. The excavator has been here since yesterday and Jacob has never been so happy. When he woke up this morning he saw that it was still here and exclaimed, "The exabator is still here! They left it overnight for me!" We've been promising that he can sit in it and play around. I kind of feel like inviting all his little friends over so they can all play on it. Jacob would be the talk of the town as far as 3 year-olds go. He sits there for hours just watching them out the back window. Today while Jacob was gawking at them one of the guys yelled something to him. "Can you go get your mommy?" I heard him say a couple times before I tuned in and went to the window. He needed me to turn on a breaker (as he put it, causing me a moment of panic because it took a few seconds to realize that he just meant the light switch that powers a certain outlet).

On another poop-related subject, we were at the train store again today. Jacob had underwear on. I smelled something suspicious and I asked him if he had to go to the bathroom. "No!" he answered sharply. I should have known better than to believe him by the defensive tone in his voice. So 5 minutes later I asked again and this time copped a little feel: Affirmative. We had to hightail it out of there before the other customers realized where the stench was coming from. I couldn't carry Jacob because of the load in his pants (I didn't want to get it all smooshed around, you know?) so we had to take our time walking back to the van. Jacob picked the perfect time to learn this new trick with the rubber toe of his shoes where he dragged it mid-step over the ground causing himself to fall repeatedly on the sidewalk while I was left holding tightly the arm of the fallen child. I looked like a child abuser dragging her kid back to the car.

When we finally did make it back to the car I got to look like a child abuser again when I had to strip him naked from the waste down and try to clean his poop-smeared butt and inner legs (for the non-parents: when you have to pull poop-filled underwear off there's really no way to get around the mess it's going to make) with ice cold wipes, the side door open making possible the traveling of Jacob's voice "Owww, that hurts!" I was so mad because that was the 3rd time in two days (now 4 times in 2 days as of this writing) that he had told me he didn't poop in his underwear when he clearly did. Each time it's happened Jacob's reason for not telling me was that I was 'busy'. But I was standing right there asking him! So today was the first-ever time I have really scolded him for anything potty related. It sucks that he went in his pants, but I would never get mad at him for doing that. I'm upset because he lies to me about it. What's up with this? Is he embarrassed or something? There's really no getting around that because I'm going to be the one cleaning it up whether he tells me sooner or later. And one more question; what's up with the train store? Last week when we were there he did the same exact thing - pooped right there at the train table. He had a pull-up on that time though. I think I just need to decide: Pull-ups or underwear? We were doing so well with the underwear, then I got lazy and for a few days we were using pull-ups out of the house, and I realized Jacob was using the toilet less after that, so I switched back to full-time undies. I think I'm just confusing the poor kid.

This potty training feels a lot like having a newborn baby again. I'm back to changing Jacob's outfit 3 or more times a day, and when we go out I have to make sure to have a giant bag of all things we might need (a change of clothes, pull-up, even extra shoes incase it's a really big pee). And I don't know if this is just me, but when you have a baby it's ok if they don't match, maybe people won't even see the clothes the baby is wearing, but with an actual kid I feel like he needs to match or it says something about my level of parenting capability. I think it's more about my OCD than vanity though. I spend a great deal of time figuring out what he's wearing and what pants I can bring to match the shirt he's already wearing (because I might not have to change the whole outfit), and what extra shirt to match the extra pants, and socks too. Don't forget to make sure the extra outfit matches the shoes because the world might end if my 3 year-old doesn't have shoes to match what he is wearing.