Of the wake-up call variety

Speaking of electronic devices, water damage, phone karma and good luck, something happened to my computer a few weeks ago that I never got around to writing about. It was the day of my sister's wedding rehearsal. Zach was upstairs giving Jacob a bath and I was supposed to be getting myself ready but I just wanted to figure out the double-charge I'd gotten on paypal when I was buying Jacob's electric toothbrush (I didn't have any luck finding one with replacable heads in the store). Zach was hurrying me and I was frustrated because the computer had been eating at my soul for several hours by then. The longer you are there at the computer, the more of you it's got a hold on, so naturally it's harder to pull yourself away. I finally finished and tossed the computer onto the little shelf-thing where I usually keep it. And then, it came right back down. It landed on it's side from a 4 foot drop and crashed there at my feet.

I went about the business of applying electronic cpr but nothing was happening. I got on the phone and called the computer place just before it closed and the one guy there who had any ability to talk to humans answered, thank God. If it had been anyone else they would have told me to bring it in, but this guy remembers me, and dare I say likes me, so does nice things. He asked me what kind of computer I have and I paused. I don't know that kind of information, so instead I told him, "This is Stacey...the one who always comes in with the little boy." This statement served two purposes: It let the guy know that he was dealing with an idiot, and by identifying myself, he knew from memory what kind of computer I have.

He talked me through removing the battery and rebooting, and that was all it took. After the computer turned back on (of course with a funky psychedelic appearance and concave screen) I had this rush of emotion as I realized what had almost happened. Everything, all my files and pictures and all that, not to mention, getting a new one wouldn't really make financial sense right now. But here's the thing, after that rush of emotion, I realized that I hadn't felt all that when I actually thought the computer was broken. Here's the one and only emotion that was pulsing through me in the ten minutes I thought my computer had gone to a better place: RELIEF.

I've got to get away from this computer - at least for a day. I've thought about packing it up and sending it to work with Zach some day. We were going to go to camp this weekend and it was scary, yet exhilarating to think about being away from the computer for a few days. Even though I knew it would be tough to deal with the withdrawal symptoms - the foaming at the mouth, hallucinations, uncontrollable shaking, I was looking forward to getting a part of myself back.

We didn't end up going, but I was better about staying off the computer during the day. Saturday I didn't get on the internet until the late afternoon! For a while I thought that could be the day - the computer free day. What am I afraid of happening if I leave the computer alone for a day? That things will change irrovocably? That I will lose my place and never be able to get it back? What would be so bad about that? I don't know...I just love the internet.