The Best News

Wow...I am still here in bed, slowly recovery. Although it doesn't feel like I'm recovering yet. Each day I've just been getting worse, my face getting bigger and the pain more intense. This is not what I expected, I thought two days of being in bed and I'd be good to go. This is day 4. I feel like I had the shit kicked out of me. And there's the physical pain mixed with all the emotional weirdness. Like I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. And this is such a contrast to what I am usually like when I'm taking my prescribed stimulant medication. So it feels weird to be this person laying around, and then I talk to my friends who have more than one child, and both of their kids are seriously sick. I know of four moms right now who have been going through hell with both their kids sick all week long, and then that makes me feel incredibly guilty. It puts things into perspective, but it doesn't give me the ability to suddently jump up and be all better, so I've just got the guilt piled on top of the sloth.

Seriously though, I have been really lucky this week. My mom and Jamie are being absolute saints, taking Jacob to their house for big chunks of the day and bringing food over for the people in the house who can actually eat. Zach took two whole days off of work and never complained about it. He's been just great. I was really nervous about it, but he's been really sweet to me and that is just so touching, especially considering it is still the busy season at work. Thank you, thank you, thank you to you guys. And Jacob...man, what a sweet kid. He is just the best. He totally gets what kind of surgery I had and knows that he needs to be careful around me and quiet, and he's been fetching things for me and petting me and kissing me. This morning in bed he was all curled up with me and he said, "I missed you, Mommy." I asked him when and he told me, "When I goed to MamMa and Papa's."

The people around me have been making things very nice for me, and that is so great, but I'm the kind of person who gets messed up in the head easily and four days of taking these pain killers (which I can't stand anymore because of the horrible side effects, but I can't stop taking because of the throbbing pain) has got my head all screwy. So my mom had just taken Jacob away. I was alone with him for a few hours this morning and that was about all I could handle. I was sitting on the floor downstairs just finishing up some e-mails that aren't going to make sense to their recipients and I won't even remember writing, and the dogs started going crazy. I looked up. Stella was at the door! I don't think I've ever been so happy to see her. I let her in and gave her a big hug and I knew it didn't matter to her the way I was dressed or that I now resemble a blowfish. I kept telling her that Jacob is going to be so excited when he finds out she's home. She gave me a Disney bag with a toy in it for Jacob that I will let him open later, and two place mats with roosters on them, used place mats. Why? I don't know, because she's Stella. I'm dying laughing (on the inside because there'll be no stitch-popping here) because who shows up on your door step with used housewares as a gift? That's our Stella. I am so glad she is back.