Day 80: School's In

Jacob started school today. It's the day I've been dreading for a long time. He was so happy and excited, and I know he's going to do fine. It's me I'm worried about. I'm so sad without him, the house is too quiet, and every time Sabine asks for him I have to tell her that he's at school - which feels to me like the 'S' word. Also, I feel like my big dream of homeschooling him is over, like all that planning I did was for nothing. We're just like every other family now.

I cried all day yesterday - when he was getting his Chicken Pox shot, when we were talking about what he wanted in his lunch, when we were tucking him in. In the middle of the night, when we got up this morning, I cried. And then again when we were dropping him off, and on my walk home from the school with Sabine. And each time someone called on the phone to check in and see how I was.

But now it is time to go pick up my baby and I am so excited! I am going to get there early and sit in the parking lot juts waiting.