Laundry Day

When I started writing this blog I think I was caught up in trying to find a good rhythm to the day, to work out a routine for me and Jakie. Well I've been working so much the last six months that I think I did somehow wind up in a routine. Somewhere along the line I even began having a 'laundry day' (Monday). That probably has more to do with the fact that we got a new water pump at the end of last year, so that I can now do more than one load of laundry a day. But my routine mostly revolves around work now. It's not like I even work that much, maybe 12 hours a week, on average. It's split up in three or four hour shifts though, so on the days that I work, even though it only takes up part of the day, it changes the whole day. I can't get anything else done on those days, and then the days that I don't have to work, I spend extra time trying to make up for the days that I did work. Not to mention, Jacob comes with me most of the time now when I work. This is great, but it makes my job seem twice as hard. I don't even feel like a stay-at-home mom anymore.

This last week has been great. My work is closed because of the school vacation, so I have the whole week to do the things we used to do. I'm getting caught up on random errands and I've been to three different activities with the moms in the last week. It's been so long since we've seen some of these people twice in one week. It makes me realize how much I have been missing it. I told Zach tonight that maybe at the end of this year, I can stop working. I had two good years at home full-time with Jacob and it was so nice to have that freedom. If I work til the end of this year, that will be two years there. The chapters in my life seem to be going in two years, so why not? Plus, if I am pregnant and close to having a baby, then it will be a good reason to stop. Zach can make three times as much as I do when he is painting. I think our collective earning potential will be maximized if he just takes the time that I would normally be spending at work, and paints. We will be far better off that way.

I am competent at my job, and I feel very much needed right now, so that is nice to have, but I'm to the point where I feel I have proved my point to myself that I can damn-near do it all. I'm so wanting to have the freedom to wake up and then decide what we're going to do with the time layed out before us instead of having it planned out two months ahead of time. Seriously, I don't think I've ever been able to utter the sentence, "Jacob, what do you want to do today?" I guess that's what being a stay-at-home mom means to me: Freedom. And that's what homeschooling will mean to me - the freedom to learn what Jacob wants to learn at any given moment.

So one of my random errands was to go to the video place where they transferred my 8mm videos to dvd. I had two tapes done yesterday and dropped more off today when I picked up the first ones. I can't believe how much money I will have spent on this stuff when I'm done with it. I'm having the old compact VHS tapes done too. These ones we don't have a problem watching because we've got the converter tape, but if I'm doing some on dvd, why not all? But what really got me to agree to it was the fact that I'll get a special rate if I do 10 hours or more at once. So I figure if I'm ever going to have it done, then right now would be the cheapest. But after I left today, I'm thinking I got charged more than I expected, unless they plan to do the discount retroactively when I complete my order...I'm not sure now though if there are some hidden costs and it's leaving a bad aftertaste...I have to call there in the morning.

For now though, we're watching the first dvd and I'm thinking the money is so worth it. Jacob is in love with watching himself on video. He's telling me now that he wants to be a baby again (which he's been saying for a few weeks now) and he wants Mango to be a puppy again. He's been really sweet to her lately. Last week he announced, "I love Mango again. Remember when I didn't?" We're watching the video of her as a tiny, tiny puppy and she is do damn cute. I don't know how we ended up where we are now.

I'd better get going...Jacob and I have to get up early for music time with the other moms. It will be our last activity with them before I return to the working world.