Friday, July 29, 2011

Dear Jacob: July 2011

Dear Jacob,

    I didn't actually plan to be writing a letter to you right now.  I planned to be in a crazy cycle of nursing a baby, changing diapers and sleeping.  But we are still baby-waiting here so I find myself with a lot of time and a tiny bit of motivation to do this thing, so I'm going to try to pop it out because you really deserve some recognition.

    I looked back to see when the last time I even wrote a letter to you was, and surprisingly it was just this past January; that's not so bad considering our crazy year.  But remember when I diligently wrote these letters each month?  That is going to have to be a thing of the past now that I'm going to have three kids.

    Anyway, the reason I'm saying you deserve this is because the last time I wrote, it was all about how much you were driving me crazy.  And now, six months later, we have returned to having a spectacular relationship.  Snuggling, hugs, kisses, hand-holding. A lot of that is because of the baby.  You love babies, and you love the idea that we're going to have a baby in our family again and you're constantly wanting to 'hug' the baby or 'kiss' the baby.  We've been having less fights about your clothes, and you've been a little more open to help in deciding which shirt matches which pants.  You still make annoying noises, but you're better about calming down when I prompt you.  We've been getting to spend a certain amount of one-on-one time with each other lately and it's been awesome.

    You are an awesome big brother.  Not always perfect, but lately you've been the best big brother I think I've ever seen.  Tonight at dinner Sabine stubbed her toe and started to cry, but before I could make it over to her, you'd scooped her up, put her on your lap and held her to you, rubbing her back.  You talked to her in a soothing voice and then helped her finish her dinner.  Sometimes I can't believe I'm witnessing a seven year old.  Also at dinner tonight, we had swiss chard from the garden, and you said, "Yes, swiss chard!  I love swiss chard!"  I think it's so cool that you like to eat things like that.  Each night for dinner we've had at least three or four things from the garden, isn't that awesome?  Cucumber, squash, zucchini, lettuce, snap peas, bush beans, garlic, broccoli, peppers.  One night everything we had for dinner, except for one ingredient, came from the garden.

    Last week in Sabine's letter I wrote about how I'm learning that I like you guys better when just one of you is around.  Something else I've been realizing is that just like in any relationship, my relationships with my kids come in waves.  Sometimes we have a rougher go of things, and then times passes and suddenly things are swell again.  Experienced mothers are always saying how you don't love one child better than another, just differently, and I'm totally getting to the point in my mothering experience where I can grasp that.  I'm also realizing that these waves in our relationship are natural, and sometimes one child's wave is up, while the other's is down.  So that while I may not love one of you better than the other, I certainly find that at any given time one of you is more in my favor.  And I'm ok with admitting that.

    Another thing we've been doing a lot of lately is weeding the gardens together.  It's just something that we both find very cathartic; maybe in your case the word is 'fun' or whatever.  But either way we sit together in nature and get to chit chat.  It's a very peaceful time for us.  We've baked together lately, which is something you've always loved to do.  Basically anything that involves housekeeping is right up your alley; laundry, dishes, vacuuming.

    These days I've been so anxious and antsy about waiting out these last days of pregnancy, that I've been dragging you and Sabine around from park to park and constantly running errands, that when we are home you are so happy to just veg out and play pretend things with Beanie.  Right away when school ended it was Play-Doh you were both really into.  Crafts are always a favorite.  Then one day you asked to bring the train set up from the basement (where it spent this whole past year ever since Daddy re-did the hardwood floors).  It had to be cleaned and disinfected (mice in the basement this winter) so you spent a couple of mornings doing that before playing with it, and ever since you've been sooo into building train tracks all around the house.  You guys like to paint out on the deck some mornings.  And you're into building giant block cities and furnishing them with a variety of Schleich animals.


    And baseball.  Still one of your favorite things.  You played little league again this spring, but what you really love are the Yankees.  We don't have cable so you either watch the live coverage one the computer, or listen to John Sterling on the radio.  You love to talk anything baseball with Daddy, and I'm amazed at the amount of facts you retain about the sport.  In the spring we went to visit Steve and Danielle and while we were there you and Daddy took a day trip to Sky Dome in Toronto to see the Yankees play.  I'd say your current number 1 activity is playing wiffle ball with Daddy in the backyard.  You and Sabine fight over who's going to get Daddy's attention when in the backyard.  She wants him for pushing on the swings and you want him for pitching balls.

    So right now it's summer and we're having a great time.  I'm so happy to have you back to myself after a long year at school.  You really enjoyed school, and I think it did wonders for you, but I'm still holding on to the hope that some day you can homeschool again, at least for one more  year.  You had ten kids in your class, in the one-room schoolhouse you attended.  I came in to your class a lot to help out, and I got a lot of experience in terms of being an involved parent in the school system.  I had to be persistent, and a little pushy at times, in order to be able to come in and get my time in your classroom.  So I feel like it was a really good learning year for both of us.  I feel like so much happened this year, so much growth took place and so much change.

    This coming school year is going to be something.  The new baby will bring lots of change.  I wonder if you're going to have trouble going back to school because you'll miss the baby too much.  But either way, things are going to be good because you're going to get another chance to show what an awesome brother you are.  I'm worried how the dynamic will change with you and Sabine though.  I know our relationship will change and takes on new shapes, but I hope we can still return to these times of calm and peacefulness, at least for a little bit.

Love,

Mommy












 

  

  

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