The Numbers

Drumroll.....

We spent $1928.31 on gasoline to fuel the miles we trecked across this great (and I'm not meaning to be patriotic here, I'm simply referring to its size) country. We spent more on gas than everything else combined. Those numbers I have not yet fully calculated since the end of our trip, but from the last calculation, there is no way all the other expenses even came close to the gas.

One thing we did spend a grossly morbid amount of money on was Starbucks frappuccinos. I succeeded in making a caffeine junkie out of my husband, sneaking in extra espresso shots when I could, nurturing his blood stream with the sweet juice of life. Now I'm slowly weaning him off and hoping he drops the habit fast because man those suckers eat a hole in your wallet!

Besides the coffee drinks, and an occasional food purchase that didn't count as a meal, no meals were consumed in a restaurant. I did three grocery store trips and in that way we were able to save a ton of money.

We also saved money by spending, I'd say maybe six nights not at a campground. The total we did spend on campgrounds (and boy were they worth it) was $477.88. I'm not going to do an official total for the amount of money we spent on clothes and souvenirs because it will scare me. I know it's more than the campsites though, but still, nowhere near the gas cost.

I had been writing before about my little 'feminist rant'...that must have been before I ever drove the RV because I think after I posted that was when I got really mad and insisted on driving. So I did. And I drove for less than an hour. Then that was it. I didn't like it, and Zach did. I like being free to write, read, and do little detail things around the RV while Zach was driving. On one hand I think this is innocent enough because that's just they way we preferred it based on personality differences, but on the other hand, it is deeply disturbing to me. I think I will always be disturbed by that, but the fact of it is, I am 5'1". It just wasn't realistic for me to drive. It wasn't plausible. It's not because I'm a girl. And I'm pretty sure by feminist standards I shouldn't be referring to myself as a girl, I should say woman. But I digress...I think as time goes by and the memories become foggy, I will look back and tell myself that it was stupid that I didn't drive, that I should have. That there was really no reason I couldn't have. I will forget that it was not fun. So this is my record.

I realize that it's stupid to be so hung up on the driving thing, but the reason I am is because I think it really changed the dynamic of our 'vacation roles' and it certainly changed the integrity of the trip for me. I sat in the back, where it was bumpy and loud and I couldn't see out the windows very well. Just think about that. I could hardly carry on a conversation with either Zach or Jacob, and instead they chattered away with each other for five hours a day. Anytime something cool came into view, Zach would tell me about it and I'd jump up to see, only to have missed the sight by the time I made it to the window. I got carsick.

Anyway, that was just when we were driving...I'm not trying to complain. It was mostly fine because I did get to have a lot of alone time...hm, then on the other hand, I did feel lonely a lot. Oh boy, I'd better stop talking about this, I'm starting to feel sad for me. Oh, but part of my point is that Jacob picked up on all this and for the entire trip it was 'Boys' Club' versus 'Girl in the Backseat'. Jacob was absolutely mean to me. When we were at the zoo and I was observing the chimps, I thought back to all the accounts of Jane Goodall's I had read over the years. That's how the male chimps do it, how they dethrone one another...they slowly and gradually work their way up to top 'dog' by abusing and disrespecting (if you'll allow me to mis-use that term in relation to chimps) and beating up on the Alpha male. And that's what Jacob did. He really just let me know at every intersection of our interacting that he didn't need me. And I started to really dislike him for it. We were not close at all on the trip. I was bothered, but not as much as I thought I would have been. I just did my own thing a lot of the time. Near the end of the trip I really started to feel a longing to have him in my arms again but he wouldn't have it. And I started to get angry. I snapped at Zach and Jacob a lot because I was feeling hurt.

But now. Ahh. Zach went back to work today, and not a day too soon. Jacob woke up at 9:15 today and for the first time in over three weeks, he allowed me to snuggle with him. Infact, he wouldn't let me get up for 30 minutes. I thought I would cry it felt so nice. It's our unspoken ritual, something we've shared since the day he was born, and it is the best thing in the world.