Four Years Ago Today...

...I had just given birth. It's shocking to me how fast that time has gone by. Anyway, I don't have much to say because I've been feeling sick lately and I'm so pooped from the birthday party preparations, and Halloween is looming right before me, for which I'm completely unprepared.

I don't have anything funny to say about it like last year, but I do want to say Happy Birthday to Jacob! We had a party here at the house with family and a few friends. It was nice enough outside that the kids mostly played there. It was the first of his parties we've ever had here because the house is finally big enough to fit everyone. It was pretty much perfect. No one overdid it with the presents, Jacob got his carrot cake he's been asking for since his last birthday, and he got to blow out his candles by HIMSELF.

This was a big deal because last year Jacob wasn't getting them blown out so I leaned over his head and tried to be smooth about blowing them out so that he would think he had done it. Unfortunately at the same exact moment, Jacob turned his head and when he turned back the candles were out. He knew he didn't blow them out and he knew it couldn't have come from the left because that's the way he had looked. The only place remaining was to his right where his little friend Emma sat by his side. I imagine the picture of it running through his mind somewhat akin to the Lee Harvey Oswald/JFK shooting/single bullet theory phenomenon. I remember it in slow motion. On the video from his birthday you can't hear him say it, but you can see him mouth, "Hey! Emma blew out my candles!" And then he started to cry. I scrambled to re-light them but the moment was lost. His moment of truth has been ruined by a two year old, or so that's what he thought.

Jacob held this grudge for the entire year and just in the last couple weeks has come around to enjoying the company of Emma again. He still believes she blew out his candles even though I finally got around to admitting to him that it was me. And the first thing he said about his party this year when it was over is, "I got to blow out my candles and no kids did!" The urge to blow out his candles by himself was so strong that for months leading up to his party he told me he didn't want any other kids at his party. Just adults - and carrot cake. But even though my sister's rambunctious step-son was lingering a little too close over Jacob's shoulder when it came time for candles, no one else did steal his fire. I think I can finally stop feeling guilty about blowing out his candles last year, and start remembering that he wouldn't be here in the first place if it weren't for me.