Staples is getting coal in its stocking from me this year.

I just got back from a 'special trip' to Staples, which is something if you realize I rarely make special trips for things if they are more than two minutes away from my house. I like to combine my errands, maximizing my time and gas mileage.

I get calendars for all the grandparents and great-grandparents for Christmas each year...oops, I ruined the surprise (but by now you should all be expecting them). I get them done at Staples, and I know I could do it more easily and cheaply online somewhere, but I tend to do better with the more concrete handing over of my pictures of knowing exactly what I'm getting...or so I thought.

I've always been happy with the service and results but this year they really suck in both departments. I actually got everything set early this year so it makes sense that this would be the year they get all messed up. The calendars were supposed to be ready on Friday and I went to pick them up at the prescribed time. They weren't done. Come back in three hours they told me. I did. They weren't done. A couple more minutes they said. I erred on the side of caution and went to run another errand. I went back many minutes later. They weren't done. Four of them were, so I waited for the fifth to be done and then checked out of there. I told them there was no hurry on the last one since I got one for us this year too. They insisted that they would send it to the printer tomorrow (that would be Saturday) and it would be ready for pick up.

I really erred on the side of caution this time and gave them three extra days to get it done. I went back tonight (Tuesday). I waited for 15 minutes while they looked around aimlessly for it. Then a girl got on the phone and probably pretended to call someone. What's your name? she asked. I told her. No, your last name - apparently I have a first-name-ish kind of last name, which I really don't consider to be so and infact I didn't know anyone with that name as a first name until I was out of high school, and to this day I still only have ever known two people with this first name. I repeated what I had said. No, your last name she said. That is my last name I said. XXXX is your last name??? She was very confused.

I get this all the time now. I don't know why. Do people think that I am an idiot and when they say 'last name' I hear 'first name'? Anyway, when the girl got off the phone she came back to the counter and reported that my calendar is not done. I don't believe them. I believe it is done and it is sitting right there under their noses. She told me I can come back tomorrow - yeah right, to see if it's done. I told her since it was the fourth time I had been there to pick it up they could just call me when it was really done.