This is what the kids do

Last week things finally picked up again in the friends department. Jacob suddenly wants to be around other kids all the time now, but for the few weeks surrounding the holidays everyone seemed to disappear for a while. But like I said, last week was full of other kids and things to do with other kids. Beckie and I took our boys skating on Wednesday and then afterwards they all came back to our house for a 'little bit'. And this is what the kids do. They're playing and things are all good, but calm enough that you think a five minute warning will be well-received. They even come over and cooperate while you put their shoes on. But you just want to finish your conversation because it's been so long since you've spoken face-to-face with another adult. And this is suddenly made possible because the kids are finally quiet, behaving, docile.

So the kids take off again playing and you barely notice because you've moved on to new and important topics of conversation like who is still wetting the bed and how many times each night, or why your two year-old has these wicked tantrums...am I screwing him up? Then things get quiet again and you both admit it's time for the naps, and the other has to accompany his mother to the store. So they come willingly again and put their coats on, but again something else comes to mind that you wanted to talk about...and so the kids go off again, without you really realizing what they've done.

You're talking away and suddenly you notice it's too quiet in the house, almost like there are no kids in the house. And as it turns out, there really are none in the house because the children have let themselves out of the house. Just unlocked the door by themselves and went right out to the backyard in their socks (just where did those shoes go that you already put on them?) because when kids are together, they do things that they would never dream of doing on their own. But this time they know that they have something very powerful on their side: Cuteness. And they know they will not get into trouble, because when moms are together, they allow things that they would never allow if they were on their own.

And this is what they do, they lull you into believing that you will get out the door in just a minute. The are calm and quiet just long enough for another wave of conversation to get started and for you to think that maybe five more minutes will be ok. And they keep doing it because they know you will see how much fun they are having (and they can see how much fun you are having) and give in because when one husband is out of town and the other is working at 14 hour day moms tend to do things like that. They are lenient because they don't want to be alone and they know that it will be tomorrow and you will all be off to college and the days for things like this will be too far long gone to even remember what it was like.

Those very same kids will get away with the same thing the very next day too because it will be a different location and their will be one more set of kids added to the mix. So you will be standing there with the coats in your arm because you know you have overstayed your welcome, the kids screaming so loud, running back and forth between the crowd of mothers that you can't even hear yourself giving out instructions for pea soup that the other has been asking for. You might even end up staying long past their bedtime because you can see how much fun they are having.

And they'll get away with it again the next day at the coffee shop, even after you can see that you've become that group of mothers, the ones who take up space and break the picture frame that is balanced on the self that's up against the wall. You complain about the cost of a cup of hot chocolate, but you don't really care because you think of it as renting the space where you're all able to be together, out of the house. The kids keep crossing their pre-determined boundary with race cars that they're zooming around with, but eventually you stop caring because you realize that all the other people are (miraculously) smiling at them. And you push your stay just as long as you can, only leaving because if you go now you'll have just enough time to get to the bus stop to meet your older child (if you don't hit any red lights). You let your eight year old stay in the car (in full view) watching a DVD and when you go to leave you realize it drained your battery and now you must have the car jumped, but you decide it was still worth it for just a little time with the other moms.

On some days this is what it's like with the moms I know, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.