Gymnastics Drop-Out

Zach and I have long agreed that gymnasts are some of the strongest athletes in the world. And so it was a mutual decision to enroll Jacob in gymnastics. We're both big jocks so it goes without saying that our kids will be athletes too. We're not going to be pushy about it, whatever sport, or preferably, sports, they want to play is cool with us. I wouldn't be too happy about football, but with Jacob's size and all, that's probably not going to be an option. Zach would rather Jacob not be a runner, kind of the same way actors don't want their kids getting into the business, but I think it's too late for that. This kid is quick.

In the spring I started taking Jacob to the same gymnastics place that I went to as a kid. It was a 2 year-old parent & tot class, which worked well for us because Jakie is a little shy and slow-to-warm-up. He loved it though. He was so good at everything, I hesitate to say the best kid there because that would just be too 'hockey dad' of me, but you get the idea.


After that session was over the gymnastics people suggested we move Jacob up to the 3 year-old class. When that class started it was a surprise to me that I would not be right there with Jacob; parents sat off to the side just watching. This is hard for me to do because the child in me wants to bounce around on all the equipment too. It made sense though, I just hadn't been prepared. Which also means that I never prepared Jacob for that fact either. It was the first time as his mother that I have had to stand back and watch while someone else took control of his learning. I didn't think he was going to be ok with being on his own just like that, but he surprisingly took well to it. Even though he was with bigger kids, he was still holding his own among them pretty well. And this is what we continued doing all summer. Jacob loved going to gymnastics and I was beyond thrilled.

When the fall class started up it had been a few weeks since we had been there and something was different about it for Jacob. I never knew if he was going to join right in, or cling to me the whole time. Maybe something in the middle; have me go out to the floor with him and sit there for half the class before he felt fully ready to participate.

Zach started coming to class sometimes because we thought that would help. It did help, but he couldn't come every week because of work. Jacob was excited about gymnastics all week long. He would practice all the moves and talk about it. But then when Tuesday mornings came around, Jacob didn't want to go anymore. It was getting to the point where I was so frustrated that one morning I bribed Jacob to go to gymnastics. I'm not above bribery in other situations, but when it comes to sports I want Jacob to experience the intrinsic rewards that go with doing well, not at trip to the train store. And I don't ever want to get mad at him for not liking it or not doing well, or be pushy in any way, or encourage an unnatural level of competition (hockey dad).

At one point one of the gymnastics people approached me about putting Jacob back into the 2 year-old class. No way was I going to do that, but her asking me that made me think that Jacob was becoming a problem for them. So we had no idea where to go from there. I think we ended up skipping a week or two. And then I guess things just started to get better? Jacob had started swimming lessons by then, and he was doing so well with that. Way more into it than we thought he would be. He was also still in the on-and-off music class that he's been in since he was a baby. I'm also not the type who thinks that my kid needs to be in all these activities. These things just kept falling into our laps. And I figured that if Jacob's not going to be in pre-school he would need some kind of activity (other than our playgroups) that is organized and routine.

So last week was the start of a new gymnastics session. Jacob didn't want to go when he woke up in the morning. I told him we had to at least go and say hi, which is the line I use for everything. By the time we get there and he sees all that's happening, he'll most likely forget that he didn't want to go. But here is the catch: If he decides he still wants to leave, I have to follow through. Maybe we'll compromise and stay just long enough to get something out of it, but if I told him that we can leave, then I can't turn that promise into a lie. This is a big part of my 'mutual repsect' philosophy.

Jacob didn't want to stay. We hadn't paid yet, so what was I going to do, force him to stay and watch while the money went down the toilet? At 3 years-old I don't think I need to worry that I'm teaching him to be a quitter. We simply went in and told them we wouldn't be coming back for this session. I told Beth that we would try again in January. That's what I plan to do.

I guess this was my first big test as a sports parent. Can I stick to my guns in terms of my 'values' when forced to make a decision that involves Jacob's wants and my wants being polar opposites? I just hope our wishes align come January...