Still missing the video camera.

I've said it at least once a day. "I wish I had a video camera." I pined away last night when Jacob was strutting around doing his best rendition of a construction worker (which we're not so sure he thinks an act, but more of real life) for my mom and Jamie. My words fail me when I try to describe the way he gets, the look in his eyes, the seriousness of it all. The only way I can capture it is on video, and now...

I love the way Jacob talks. I want to capture every little mispronounciation before he picks up on the subtle nuances to this language of ours. The little lisp he's got, the funny twist he adds to certain words - the ones I never correct because I want to keep them for my very own - and the things he says that no one else understands keep him all mine for just a little longer. I want to bottle these things up and save them for when I'm old and grey.

I longed for it today when I was playing outside with Jacob and the dogs. I was throwing a stick around for Mango and she was sliding all over the solid sheet of ice that is our backyard. It was a sight to behold and would have been just as funny on video. Oh well. I was headed inside to get my skates so I could lace them up and let loose in the backyard when I remembered that they're at the college. At least I had the option to do something else. I would have been video taping if I could. And in it's place I normally would have been taking pictures. But now it's like a picture won't even do because it's just a still, sad reminder of something that could have been recorded in all its visual motion splendor.

It was actually a relief to not be taking pictures, to not have the constant pressure of having to chose between either living in a moment, or recording it. I can't get it all, can't have my cake and eat it too, so why bother trying? Come to think of it, I have been taking a lot less pictures lately. I have actually been leaving the house without my camera strap looped round my neck and tossed under my left arm. This video camera thing...is it possible it was not an accident? Could there have been some divine intervention here? I can't be sure. Just as long as no one claims Bob told them to do it.