Drastic Measures

I never wrote about what Jacob did with the scissors back before Christmas because we were so busy and all, but for the record, he cut through an electrical cord. Zach was in the middle of putting up the Christmas lights. A few minutes before Jacob cut the line, they had been plugged in to be tested. This now ranks in at number 1 on the list of Most Dangerous Experiments, just above the time he put a metal pot of Playdoh into the microwave and started it up when he was two.

Understandably, the scissors (you'd never believe how many pairs of scissors one household can contain) got packed away in a bag together and hidden from Jacob. And just when I thought it was safe to put one pair back into circulation:

He cuts his hair again. This time it was real bad. I'd been letting his hair grow out because we've been watching a lot of home videos lately, remembering how curly and blond his hair was, and we miss it. So there was a lot of hair to be cut. It might not look so bad but keep in mind that if brushed straight down his forehead it went about to his eyebrows. And there was a bunch missing on the top of his head too.

So what's the only sure-fire way to make sure your kid never cuts his own hair again?


Remove the hair completely.

We could have gotten a normal hair cut, but there was just no time for that because it had to be taken care of Right Then. There was no way this kid could go in public like that. Zach could have done it normal like last time but there was no time for that because he had to get going to spray a ceiling, so for practicality's sake, we all agreed it was best to just lob it off. Zach was all for it, infact, he wants to do the same thing for Sabine. I told him if he does that he can plan on finding a new home, new friends, and new money because I would take all of his. He tells me there is only one setting on his electric razor. I don't believe him.

Anyway, Jacob thinks it's hilarious. Zach loves it and thinks it makes Jacob look even more like him. I hate it. "Put it back on," I told him. Sabine isn't sure what she thinks. She can't stop touching it, sometimes intermittently screaming at it. She's probably pissed that there's no more hair there because, frankly, that was her only defense against him.

But it's funny, I've never seen Jacob with so little hair. Even when he was born he had more hair. I can see the shape of his skull, and there are different shades of hair on different spots of his head. You can see his birth mark a lot more. It's weird. But I guess there is an upside, as Jacob just told me whe I refused to give him scissors, "But I don't have anymore hair left to cut!"