Bet my day was more disgusting than yours...

I get these daily e-mails, 'Ideal Bites'. They're green living tips and I love them. Today I got a particularly interesting one:

http://www.idealbite.com/tiplibrary/archives/culture_club/

I learned from today's tip that our favorite yogurt is made from crushed-up beetles. Yum-my! Not only is this revolting to think about, but it is cruel and so very unvegetarian. According to my Yoplait and Colombo containers currently in the fridge, it's referred to as carmine. How did I not know about this before??

The following link -

http://www.foodnet.cgiar.org/market/Tropcomm/part2c2.htm

- gets you this information:

COCHINEAL (also known as Carmine Red)

Cochineal is a red dye made from the dried bodies of the pregnant females of the species of insect Dactoylopius coccus which feeds on the cactus Napalea cochinillifera.

And if you want to know how they are gathered and 'prepared' for use as a food dye, see paragraph 5.

Anyway, it was a sad day here in this house because Jacob and I are going to have to find an alternative yogurt. I already buy Stoneyfield Farms vanilla and banilla, but nothing beats the Yoplait strawberry. Damn. In the store today, I did a little research in the refrigerated section; nothing else had carmine in it - not raspberry, cherry, or any other pink/red yogurt. What's wrong with beet juice that it can't also color our beloved strawberry yogurt?

Well, Zach is rolling his eyes and telling me that sounds a little extreme, even for me, so I'm guessing everyone reading this is bored silly. Here's the real disgusting part of my day: I had to stick my finger up Mango's butt. That's right. Something's going on down there and it's causing her anal glands to fill up. Now I don't know what the natural state of anal glands is supposed to be, but apparently 'full' is on the undesirable list.

So today I visited a new vet (good news - he says he can do Ginger's surgery for less than half of what we thought we'd have to pay). This is the third time we've had to have them drained, and each time has been less than a month since they were last drained. At $20 a pop, it's getting costly. Thus begins Anal Gland Drainage 101 where phrases like, "Say her butt is a clock, you want to aim for 4 o'clock and 8 o'clock," and, "Go in about a centimeter further...and you're looking for a grape-sized lump," can be heard from the long, empty corridor outside the examination room.

I didn't have any luck getting the amber-colored ooze out, but I got to be there when the doctor did and I got to smell it - all the way home. And then when we walked through the door, Ginger (click on the blue to see pictures I just added) greeted her daughter with a hearty butt-lick. I'm sure going to try again though, because do you know how much leverage this will give me within my marriage? "Sweetie, can you please take care of the dishes? I just had to drain Mango's anus."

Do I win, or what?