Dear Sabine: May 1, 2009

Dear Sabine,

You are ten months old and then some. You have a few words in your vocabulary; ones that aren't necessarily words per say, but in the technical sense, they are words. Most of your 'words' are just various strains of the 'D' sound. Da for Daddy, Doh for Dogs, deedee for Jacob, Dee for Tree. You love trees. You point to them and ask us in your little way to talk to you about them. You also love lights. You reach your arm up to the ceiling and use the sign for light. You ask for music by singing and shaking your hands in the air (very similar to your 'all done' sign) like you are using shakers. You do not have a word for me. You either have a word for something, or a sign for it, for me you use the nurse sign. Our relationship to this point in a nutshell.

Other things you love: The swing in the back yard. You crawled up to it today and put your arms up like you wanted to be picked up. Jacob pushed you in it for a while and you just cracked up the whole time. You favorite hang out spot these days is on the back of the couch, looking out the window that faces the driveway. From there you can observe every person who comes and goes. Ginger. You crawl up to her, pet her and she goes crazy wagging her tail. It's so funny to see you do this because it looks like you know what you're doing, you know, you're gentle and you don't smack her around and stuff. Pretty much all dogs you love. I think they may be your favorite thing. You squeal as you take a deep breath kick your legs around trying to get to whatever dog you see.

We're guessing 'dog' will be the first official word you say with all the proper letter sounds in order because we hear you practicing it a lot under your breath, adding in the middle 'oh' sound with more emphasis sometimes, and you've got the 'g' sound as well. The other sound you use is the 'b' sound. That's the one that you'll do just after we've fed you a bite of mushy food, so that it all comes spraying back out into our faces. I think you're starting to use it while you're tossing a ball around the room. Yes, you do that. You throw a ball and then go chase it across the floor. You do this completely by yourself and sometimes with objects that are not round. Soccer player? And the other day you held a piece of chalk in your left hand for about half an hour, at times brushing the ground with it, hard enough to leave a mark behind. Lefty?

People are always asking me if my experience of having this baby is much different from having Jacob as a baby. I tell them that for the most part it's very similar. And that's true. Most people I know have kids that are polar opposites of one another, but you and Jacob seem a lot alike. One thing I can say though is that with him everything was so gradual. Potty training lasted from 18 months to three years, it was not a weekend affair like so many people I know have made it. We say he started walking at about 10 1/2 months. I can't say I remember an actual first step, it all sort of blended into an eventual walking. First words, couldn't tell you really. I don't know if it's because I am now a second-time parent so I'm primed to recognize these things, or what. It's probably a little of that, also probably the fact that I write so much more of this stuff down now (a fact that causes me a horrible amount of guilt because I can't remember Jacob as a baby). But I do think that you are like a swift gust of wind. You're so ready to be walking, you could be doing it already, you just don't feel like it yet. I fully expect that ones of these days you'll just start walking across the room like you've been doing it your whole life.

Tonight while I was putting you to sleep (a job usually reserved for Daddy, unless you have fallen asleep nursing) you kept pointing to the window as the shade was blowing in the wind. You were using a word that sounded like your Daddy word, but I think you were saying 'that'. I think you were asking me to tell you about it, to give you a running commentary about your world like we always do, but it was Bedtime and I was not giving in. I just layed there with my eyes shut pretending to be asleep and you jsut kept on saying it and pointing. There was nothing in your experience that told you what to do with that, with someone ignoring you, so you just kept on asking, sure that I just hadn't heard you.

Speaking of tonight's bedtime, it was a different kind of going to bed tonight. For starters, it took two whole hours. I had two hours to myself at home tonight while Daddy and Jacob were at a baseball game. And of course it took two hours to put you to sleep. When they left I got a nightime diaper on you and brought you upstairs to nurse you. That you did, but you were still awake afterwards. I've been asking the question lately of when will you go to sleep on your own, meaning like when will you lay down awake and go to sleep like that, you know, not in someone's arms. So after you nursed you layed there all peaceful, but awake. It was very weird at first, but then I thought to take advantage of it. I thought I could sooth you to sleep like that. Even though that failed, I'd already started the process so I couldn't go back on it and start over a different way. Not unless I want you to have major sleep issues like Jacob. You spent all that time laying there, calm, but not asleep, gently playing around, but not getting too excited. Even though I wanted you asleep, it was so nice and so weird to witness that kind of quiet activity, not much about your is quiet. Anyway, two hours after it started, you fell asleep curled against me, not nursing and not in a vertical position, so that's good. That combined with the fact that I used the phrase morning nap in coversation last week without air quotes, I think that means we might be ok.

Love,

Mommy