Lay your fuzzy lit'le head down

I was just watching Sesame Street with the kids when Ricky Gervais came on to sing Elmo to sleep. I love it when celebrities are on Sesame Street. I've got to hand it to the SS peeps, they make the show interesting for parents and kids alike. We laughed our butts off and then I promptly when to youtube so we could watch it again. Here it is for anyone wanting a silly laugh, also, for my future quick-reference.

Anyway, I can tell how the next hour is going to go because after each youtube video they keep popping up another funny celebrity guest appearance.

Providing for the family

Despite the fact that's it's the middle of winter, in our house it's never too cold for ice cream. We have the ice cream maker that you roll around to make ice cream, and we use it a lot. I'd decided we needed some coffee ice cream to go along with the opening ceremony of the Olympics so as the evening progressed we were all pretty bent on having that particular treat.

The one ingredient that seems to be the most difficult to keep around is the actual ice that you put on the outside to freeze the other ingredients. It takes a lot more ice than I can make in the freezer, so usually Zach gets the ice from the college if we've done a good job of planning ahead. A couple times this year we've just used snow, I think that was actually Jacob's idea. So when we were faced with the situation where I'd completely forgotten about the ice, I naturally thought to get some snow from outside.

I guess I hadn't realized the tiny bit of snow that had fallen earlier that day was mostly gone. Zach told me to scrap the idea altogether, but I couldn't let go of it so I snuck outside with a pair of gloves and scraped snow from the walkway. I felt pretty ridiculous out there carrying out my idea of hunter-gatherer but I came in ten minutes later with a ball full of packed snow and we had our ice cream to help kick off Olympics '10.

Bull Riding

This activity has quickly become a favorite pastime in our house. It's just one of the many ways we spend hours being silly. The kids just can't resist. Even if Zach is just bending down to get something, one of them will usually jump on him in some way and then there's no going back. The other child, from whatever corner of the house they're in, dropping whatever it is they were occupied with, appears and joins in.



We're all so very lucky to have Zach as a father and partner in parenting.

All Smiles

My family and I often notice clever commercials and really appreciate their creativity. One of our favorites right now is the American Express commercial with all the faces. Zach suggested that I take some inspiration from the commercial and capture some photos like that. Well that was a couple months ago and I've only gotten one photo, so rather than this post being a collection of smiles, it's just one. But at least now I've got the tag going and it will be easier to post them in the future. For today, I hope my cheese grater makes you smile:

Dear Sabine: Many months of you

Dear Sabine,

I have been completely remiss. You have gone through stage after stage of development and I have failed to record what's been going on. You picked up habits and dropped them in favor of other activities, but mostly you have kept those habits because I am your mother, and you are my child and we share the same obsessive-compulsive gene. And that is the reason why I can't just write up a Dear Beanie post and be done with it in a timely manner. It has to be perfect, because you are perfect. And anything written about you must reflect your perfectness. Right?

Anyway, here I am at 11pm a couple days after you have turned 19 months. It's 11pm, and guess what? You and Jacob are both next to me. You are both awake. You were actually asleep for the night many hours ago, but then woke up and leaving it in the hands of Daddy, you never went back to sleep. You guys are eating Annie's Bunnie cereal and being so cute together that I am questioning the logic behind bedtimes.

I've been trying to gear myself up to write this post for a month now, since you turned 18 months, you know, the beginning of toddlerhood. It's been hard because I put so much pressure on myself. I want it to be a perfect reflection of what our days are like. I isolate myself, get all hopped up on caffeine, and mentally prepare to hunker down and get some words out. But then I just end up cleaning the house or playing with you guys. Tonight I thought you were in bed for the night so I am giving it another go.

Anyway, Sabine, here are some thoughts I've had over the past 4 or 5 months. It's not at all what I'd like it to be, it hardly taps the surface of who you are. One thing I can say you're not is a baby. You've never been a baby. I've said that before, but it's true. I'm finding that with Jacob leading the way and setting all kinds of bad examples, you are getting into much more sophisticated trouble than he did at this age. Maybe not though, it's so hard to judge what things are really different and what things just seem different because he was my first and I didn't yet have a bar upon which to judge his behaviors. What I do know though, is that for you, the sun rises and sets with Jacob. You would follow him to the ends of the Earth. You just adore him and follow him around copying whatever he does. If you fall and end up crying, Jacob is just as likely to come running as Daddy and I are. He really loves taking care of you.

Last week was a rough night with you, as it sometimes is. Daddy and I had basically given up and you were just sitting in bed crying your face off. We always wonder how Jacob sleeps through your midnight tantrums, but on this night he actually woke up. He crawled to the middle of the bed where you were and scooped you up. You clung on to him and stopped crying. The two of you just sat there snuggled, and then I don't remember what happened, but I do remember thinking that is the reason for having kids, for moments like that, and that all the trouble you both have caused over the years, it was absolved in that moment. All the hours of being awake in the night, all the times I thought my blood pressure would go so high that my head would explode, all the times I longed to be a singleton back in college, they were all wiped away and I was simply the proudest mother in the world.

Well, I should leave it at that and just go to bed, but here you are still awake, nursing, and you stopped for a minute to whisper, "Hi Moooommmy" and give a little wave. Lord God, you are the cutest thing. I'm sure it's coming, but in this moment I can't imagine a day when you'll drive me mad with frustration and anger. Right now you're still cute and cuddly.

Well, that was a good week and and a half ago. Apparently something drastic must have happened and I stopped writing, but before I did I jotted down some short-hand things I could think of that describe how you've been spending the days. Here they are:

you play hide and seek, you count 3, 5, 3, 5 with your eyes covered

ALWAYS, ALWAYS have loved music, since you were a tiny baby it is the thing that calmed you in the car, and it still does. You just love music, any kind, you will start swaying from side to side whenever it comes on, completely stop what you are doing.

when you want us to come you pat your leg like you've seen us do for the dogs to come.

So that was toward the end of January. Before that I added to the post with these sort-hand paragraphs:

starting to collect little treasures. today Jacob had a lollipop at the dr's office and you latched on to his wrapper. you held that thing for an hour and when I tried to take it out of you hand so I could wash them, you freaked out. only calmed down when I gave it back. you were so proud of it. I see bits of scrap ribbon, random pieces of junk procured from the side of the road, tiny rocks and old toy car tires in your future. Thankfully, I'll have a couple more years before you start remembering these objects the next day after you've collected them, but after that, I expect you'll start filling the house with crap like that and not letting me get rid of it.

loves the dogs and rabbits, and animals, wants to hold them - puts out arms and squeaks high-pitched.

weighed 17 lbs at 13 months.

come running if you hear a wrapper because you think it's food and you want to mooch.

at gymnastics when we're watching Jakie's class you hold your own weight by hanging on a bar. you do forward rolls all over the place, they are in perfect form too.

when the dogs bark you go to the front door, you call them by tapping on your leg and doing the high-pitched voice.

Before that I had started writing the post for you, which was titled 15 Months. That would have been maybe around September?

You pinch us on purpose and then go "oush" for ouch

you have a deep sense of order...constantly picking things up and either putting them where they belong, or urge us to put them away. Or something that belongs to someone, like Jacob's hat, you want it on his head.

baby yoga still, look up and wave with both hands to show of...sometimes do it into a perfect forward roll. I can't believe a baby can do that!

routine at bedtime, I nurse you, daddy takes you upstairs to bounce on the yoga ball.

you love reading your little books - the animal book.

the thing you do with your arms when you're looking for something.

the thing you do when I finish putting your hair up.

"mimi" for Beanie?

you love being groomed - having your nails clipped, hands washed, putting socks ans shoes on.

you know about moving stools around to places up high in which you wish to get to.

you call all animals 'doggie'

At some point I added this stuff, but it doesn't appear to be in order. I guess this was when you turned 18 months just before Christmas.

18 months and 18 lbs

wants everything hung on the coat rack, loves order, arranges peoples' shoes everywhere we go.

little gymnast.

love wearing your winter hat, if daddy has his on, you have to have yours on. if I have my slippers on, you have to have yours on - and the same goes for if we take them off.

And this brings us to the present, I am dating this one incase I don't actually finish it in this moment like I am promising myself. For the record, it is 2/5/10. You and Jacob are being little pains in the butt now but I am trying my hardest to be a bad mother and tune you out! Thank God for Jacob because he finally got you to shut up by going to get crayons and something to color. Before that you were doing random things but shouting "Mommy! Mommy, mooommy! Mommy, Mommy!" Cuz that's all you basically say. You see something interesting, Mommy! You want something down, Mommy! You have something in your mouth and you want me to catch you, Mommy! Etc, etc. Sometime I think you just shout mommy mommy to be annoying. We ask you to identify someone in a photograph, Mommy!

Here's some other things that cause you to shout Mommy: Seeing a school bus drive by. I don't know why, but they are one of your most favorite things in the world. Seeing the face of Thomas the Tank Engine. I think he's your favorite character. Seeing the dogs laying on the dog bed.

Here are your favorite things to do: Climb up and down the staircase in our house. You would do this non-stop if I let you. Find cardboard boxes, flip them on their sides and go down them like a slide. Visit the bunnies in the basement. Follow Jacob around the circle in the house, either on foot or on your little wooden horse while he's riding the Wheely Cow.

Favorite foods: Hands down, yogurt is your favorite food. Apples and pears, grapes, peas, pretzles. Dried cranberries, dried dates. Pea soup.

Quirks: At home sometimes you don't stop talking or making noise, but when we're out, you don't say a word. People think you can't talk. And then there's the most outstanding thing about you, the thing we can't imagine you ever outgrowing - you obsessiveness. It started with the winter hats. If someone has their hat on, you have to have yours on and vice versa. It's grown to include everyone present. Last night at dinner you had a meltdown because you decided it was time to take off your striped winter hat (thanks Katie) and so Daddy and I took ours off, but Jacob would not take his off. The scene didn't end well. The shoes, they have to be perfectly lined up. At gymnastics you go around lining up other peoples' shoes and I just have to explain to them how their shoes got all the way over there because woe to the person who tries to put them back where they came from. And then there's the slippers, we put them on and off 20 times a day. And that's branched out to socks too. If I have socks on, you must as well, even if my socks are hidden inside my slippers. Oh my God, I could write all day about the things you are compulsive about. Infact maybe I will write a post just about that. I don't know what to make of this OCD. Is it a developmental phase? Are you really crazy like me? One thing is for sure, you're lucky to have been born to me because most other parents probably wouldn't put up with your shit. But I get it and I try to be as sensitive and understanding about it as I can.

OK, I'm thinking of some more things now. Things you love: Giving kisses, birds, any animal basically, school buses. Watching trucks go by the house. The snow, being outside. Stripes. Coloring, eating, lining things up and putting things where they belong. Glowy the gloworm, Velvet the bunny and Baby Honey. Going somewhere, getting outerwear on, putting on your own hat and gloves (which you do perfectly). Helping to cook and bake, taking baths, trees. Using your signs to tell us what you want (you use about 30 signs - some you made up on your own).

Despite your lack of speech, you're a very good communicator. You don't talk much, but that's fine by us for now. MamMa says that adds to your charm. You are so incredibly active, agile and talented with moving your body through space that we consider that your forte and the rest will come when it's ready.

I think this is the longest post in the history of my blog, and it's probably very confusing, but actually, the order of my words might very well be a better reflection of what it's like experiencing Sabine than any actual words I could ever use would be. Does that sentence make any sense? Too bad, I know what I'm trying to say. Someday I'll explain it to you.