Zach went running this morning

We had debated who was going to get to go running first, me or him.

I said goodbye to him as he was going down the stairs and I was slipping Sabine's onesie over her screeching head. Then I pulled on her shirt and decided I'd give her a break before I finished 'killing' her, which is how we've come to refer to getting her dressed or diapered because she screams so.

I went to make the bed. Then went back into the kids' room to check on Sabine. She was sitting still, almost transfixed, with her hands gently playing in something brown and squishy. Poop. So much of it that it leaked out her fresh diaper in all directions.

"Oh God." I muttered, picked her tiny self up and plopped her, clothes and all, right into the tub. Peeled her fresh, clean clothes off, removed the diaper and set it aside on a paper towel. Took one look at what I was dealing with and knew I really, really needed that cup of coffee that had been waiting in the pot for over an hour. Ran quick as I could down to the kitchen and poured the cold, tarish coffee from the carafe into my waiting mug. The tar and cold I could have put up with, but the grounds that followed into the mug just grossed me out. I decided I was going to have to do this one uncaffeinated.

I bribed Jacob to bring the diaper pail up from the basement stairs and began spraying Sabine off with the shower head. As I was watching the brown liquid swirl down the drain I heard a clunk and a thud at the bottom of the regular house stairs that Jacob was climbing with the pail. Then crying.

I turned the water off and left a freezing Sabine screaming in an empty tub, grabbed a crying Jacob, the pail of spilled diapers and ran back up to the tub. Babied him for a minute then set him next to the tub, still crying, while I let more water run over Sabine until it ran clear. Then soaped her up, rinsed and wrapped her in a towel. Handed her to Jacob which finally ended his tears and he held her while I sprayed the diaper off in the toilet (with the handy dandy attachment that we bought for that purpose) and then cleaned the floor around it.

I retrieved the foam letters from the kids' room, the ones with the poop all over them, and sprayed them off in the bathtub. Then had to deal with Sabine, who was again, screaming. Lotioned her and we headed downstairs to get Jacob the breakfast he'd been asking after for 20 minutes. Put Sabine, naked, in the playpen and listened to her scream while I dished out Jacob's yogurt. Grabbed Sabine up and slathered her with diaper cream, put on a diaper and put back on the clothes that, miraculously, were poop free. Noticed some blood all over Sabine, then realized it was coming from my finger. Apparently I was too busy to notice I'd sliced it open somehow. Go figure.

I got Sabine settled into the 'Playstation' (saucer) with Cheerios, brewed some new coffee, and headed in to clean the bathtub. Still don't know how I'm going to disinfect those foam letters.

Then I turned on the computer, and sat down just in time to see Zach walk through the door, fresh from his run. For all the world it probably looks like I was sitting pretty like this the entire 45 minutes he was gone. Still didn't get that cup of coffee though.

But here's Zach now, and his first words to me, "Hey Pookie! It's your turn!" If he only knew...