Dear Sabine: Month 12

Dear Sabine,

You turned the big 1 on Monday. We celebrated with a party on Saturday where we had close friends and family over. The weather was hot and muggy, then turned to rain. I said no way were you having cake because you hadn't earned it, with your little nibbles of baby cereal and Cheerios. No way was I going to give you a taste of sugar before you'd even developed a taste for the healthy things. But I let you have your first strawberry, and boy did you love it.

The real party happened in Daddy's office on your actual birthday. We had to get an oil change on the van so I'd dropped Daddy off at work and then later we'd gone in to pick him up. The day before Stella had brought over a small cake (presumably left over from her church that morning) and I instantly told Daddy to get it out of the house so I wouldn't eat it. Well Jacob remembered that cake and did a little snooping in Daddy's office. He found it and none of us could resist. We sat there in Daddy's office and shared one plastic fork dug from the back of a drawer and ate the entire thing - all four of us, including you! When we were done there was frosting smeared all over his desk and chocolate crumbs dug into his carpet. I thought to myself, now that's a birthday celebration worthy of our family. Nothing we ever do is within the realm of 'normal'.

For your birthday party, the 'formal' one where we had guests and such, you wore a frilly dress with pink flowers. Everyone was aghast that I would dress you in such an outfit, knowing full-well that I despise dressing you like an actual girl. But that was a special dress. I bought that dress two years ago in Colorado Springs when we were on our cross country trip. I spent more money on it than I would spend on a pair of shoes for myself, but when I saw it I knew that it was Sabine's dress. I wasn't even pregnant yet, but I knew a little girl with little brown curls was coming my way and so I bought that dress in size 12 months. And then I waited for you.

Boy were you worth the wait. You are so much fun, you're at the age where you're learning something new every day. Recently it's been high fives, your nose discovery(which you like to grab and squeeze, then crack up), a couple weeks ago you found your belly button and figured to dig your little finger in it. You love to wave "Bye-bye", give kisses, and hide stuff under the couch and bed. Seriously, something will be missing for a week or two and then one day we'll discover it tucked away behind the bed skirt.

And guess what...you took four tiny steps a month ago, and then not again until the other day. Your birthday actually. I couldn't call it walking though. Not until Wednesday, two days after your birthday, did you decide to use your new-found skill as an actual form of locomotion. And now you just love walking, can't get enough of it. This is different than it was with Jacob; I remember everything with him being more gradual. There wasn't any one day I could identify as him doing x, y, z for the first time, I couldn't pin point his exact first word. But with you it's clear you have definite opinions about yourself. That's not to say Jacob isn't opinionated - he very much has a mind of his own.

Speaking of words, you have many, most of which are the kind a parent needs to translate, but they fit the definition of a word. Water (which you love drinking!), light, doggie, Ginger, Daddy, rabbit, touch it, gentle, Na-na (which is me, we're working on making it Mama). You use several ASL signs and a few I made up. Infact, there is a sign you use most often and it is one you made up yourself. Instead of the more sign you adapted it and use it, as best we can tell, to mean 'want'. You do your little "uh-uh" chimp noise to get our attention and then point to something and do your want sign. You do this over and over, sometimes loudly if you're really excited. It's really freaking cute.

Also right around your birthday you started eating some actual food. You still only have two little teensy teeth but I guess you just decided it was time. You have no idea have this has improved my daily living. It's opened up different wardrobe choices for me, and it means other people can feed you for a chance. It means you can be bribed and coaxed by little bits of crackers and such. You're still nursing like a maniac, but it's been nice to have you eating some food. I actually don't know your weight because your birthday came and went without me even making an appointment for you 12 month visit. We're going next week though and I don't expect you to be over 17lbs.

Other things have gotten easier with you as well. Diaper changes are not always a traumatic event, but you're still not crazy about them. The same goes for getting you dressed. The carseat is not the torture device it used to be. Infact, we even made it home from Camp in four hours a couple weeks ago because you stayed happy while awake in your carseat for over an hour. Not as much stuff is going in your mouth these days, and when you do have something inappropriate in your mouth, you're more likely to turn it over to the autorities willingly.

Ride-on toys and the water remain among your favorite things. A few weeks ago you actually tried to ride the canister part of the vacuum cleaner while I was vacuuming. You wiped out and then proceeded to do an instant replay showing me what happened when you fell off. Your little horsey is a favorite ride-on here at the house. You just push that things all over the house, going in circles and steering like a pro.

And I can say that you are a bonafide water lover. You love being in the water, playing around and getting wet. You love drinking water from a cup and cry when I say you've had to much. Yesterday you actually threw up in the car because you'd had the water bottle unsupervised and drank too much. And always with the climbing. Everyday it is a new thing you've climbed, a new danger, a few inches higher that I have to move the breakables. At Jacob's gymnastics recital you were doing flips on the bars (with Daddy's assistance) and hanging from them (with no assistance). I expect next year it will be impossible to keep you off the equipment.

Well Sabine, if your first year is any indicator of the kind of person you're going to become, I think you're going to grab life by the horns, drink it in with gusto, and then puke it back up just to make room for the next adventure. I'll gladly join you for the ride.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Jacob: Spring 2009

Dear Jacob,

Today (6/3/09) Sabine is the same exact age that you were the day Daddy and I got married. I think it's incredible how fast she has become this little person, but that's nothing compared to how amazed I am by what a big boy you are. And you truly are. You do such mature things all the time. Like the way you help Daddy out with house projects. He says that you save him huge amounts of time by getting his tools for him, helping to stain boards, and moving materials around. And like the way you help me fold laundry and cook, or do dishes and take care of Sabine.

The way you take care of Sabine is something else altogether. You are so good with her and so helpful; exactly as everyone predicted you would be. Actually, since I wrote that you've been a little bit testy with her. You've been taking liberties, to put it one way. I'm starting to see the first hints of sibling rivalry. Sabine actually gets mad when I'm snuggling with you. She comes over and tried to push in between us. It's cute now...but I don't know for how much longer it will be that way.

But enough about Sabine, this post is about you. I'm trying so hard to keep some things just for Jacob. I feel so guilty all the time that Sabine takes so much of my time and you don't get all the time in the world from me anymore. Like these posts, for example. In the past months I've written far more Dear Sabine posts and here you are getting a seasonal post. It's just that at her age she changes so fast. I was doing the same kinds of things for you when you were her age. And I'm sure when she's your age I won't be writing a post for her every month. Something just had to give and I guess that's one of the things - you're not getting written about as much. I've pretty much had to sacrifice writing about anything these past few weeks in favor of just surviving the days with you guys!

There's some things that have been happening which reflect the fact that you're growing up. Like how a couple weeks ago I was on the couch nursing Sabine and I needed you to get the TV remote. I was explaining where it was and that you'd have to go get a chair to reach it and in the middle of my sentence you walked up to the TV and reached as high as you could and grabbed the remote. I was flabbergasted. I had no idea you'd grown big enough to reach the top of the entertainment center.

And then there was T-ball, which ended yesterday. Actually, the last game is tomorrow but we'll be missing it because we'll be up north. Daddy's running a race and you're just fine to miss your last game so that he can run. After the race we're going to Camp. T-ball season was so awesome. You were always stoked to go to your games. It's like there was never any bugging you to get out the door (maybe once) and you loved every minute of it. Daddy and I, and your coaches are so impressed with how you improved. You are one of the better players on the team and certainly the ideal kid to have on a team because you always paid attention and stayed excited about the game.

Playschool ended yesterday and oh how you loved it. We'll go back next year with Sabine, just once a week and you're looking forward to being the big helper. You're not going to Kindergarten, but you are a Kindergartener. We really do have a great time 'homeschooling' and I'm looking forward to next year as we embark on the first official year of homeschooling. I don't know where it's going to take us, but remain open to the options. I hope I get to write more about what kinds of things you're learning about. But just this one bit - today we were doing laundry and as the washer was spinning really fast at the end you observed that you couldn't see the clothes. I told you that was because it was spinning so fast that the clothes were pressed up to the side. I explained it's called centrifical force and we talked about it a bit. Our day is full of random learning like that.

Gymnastics will be over next week also. It will be so nice to have more 'stay at home' days like you call them. This is your fourth full year of gymnastics!

There are some things that I keep as evidence that you are still a little boy though. Like the way you say 'chimes' when you're talking about the chives in the backyard. Or how you call Marisa Amosa. You sometimes mix around your B's and V sounds. You still love watching Bob the Builder. That obsession has lasted you more than half your life. It's nice to have some constancy.

You are always my responsible little boy. We're getting ready to leave for four days out of town and I can't believe the amount of time you spent helping out. You helped Daddy carry in things from the van so it could be ready to pack up with luggage, you helped me fold several loads of laundry, you did a couple sink-fulls of dishes. And in between all that you got crazy, and Daddy and I got mad at you. If there was one thing I wish I could do better for you, it would be to accept the times when you need to act out like that. You're just such a helpful kid, sometimes it's hard to remember running around like a lunatic is completely normal for a five year old.

And oh how I've missed you this past year. I miss when it was just the two of us. Not that I would ever trade Sabine, but I don't think our relationship will ever be the same back. Sometimes I'm just so full of heartache because you'll be sitting there across the room from me looking so cute, yet we feel miles apart. I want to scoop you up and hug you but the chances of you accepting that is not what it used to be. We have had a few times now where we've gotten to be alone, truly alone with Sabine at home without us and it's been very nice. Now that she's almost a year old I'm hoping these times alone with you will become more common. I hope we can get back a little more of that feeling of when it was just us. I love you and love spending time with you because you're one of the coolest kids I know!

Love,

Mommy

There comes a time in your child's life....

....when you have to stop blogging about the embarrassing things that happen to them. You have to look deep inside yourself and decide that telling a good story is not worth the future humiliation that they may feel from finding out their lives have been on display for the whole world to read about. It is with this in mind that I that say the following - that time has not yet come!

And thank God Jacob finds it funny and doesn't care who I tell because this is just too gross to keep inside. So I am breaking my 2 1/2 week non-blogging streak (the longest ever - I just needed a break) to tell you this brief story.

Over the weekend Jacob was running around naked, like he often does. He had made a tunnel and was squatting down to crawl under it and, you know, accidentally pooped on the deck. Puts whole new meaning to the term 'poop deck'. I wasn't there to witness it, and actually didn't believe the 'accidental' nature of the whole incident, but Zach tells me he thinks it was truly unexpected.

So Zach started freaking out because he can't take things like that. "Pookie, you gotta get out here, I can't take this!" So I went out to see what was up and there were a couple of big chunks. I ran into the house to get a handful of kleenex and when I came back out Mango was standing over where the pile had been licking her lips. Needless to say, we've all had trouble stomaching our meals and Zach no longer lets Mango lick his face.