Hostible

'Papa' had his surgery last week so now Jacob is obsessed with playing 'hostible', as he says it. The object of the game (so far- but I think we're due for some improvisation) is to drive around the house like crazy with Baby Honey in the doll stroller and then crash. The on-looking party has to then call 911 and request an ambulance. Baby Honey goes to the hospital where it is determined that she has a broken leg/neck/head and needs surgery.

Jacob's been playing this non-stop the past week, but mostly when Zach is around. He's not that interested in having me play it with him and that is fine by me. When Zach is here though, that is all Jacob wants to do with him. Zach played Hostible with all his heart today and I have to say it was a rather impressive performance. I was laughing so hard I was in tears. I don't know what was really that funny about it, but I've been bored out of my mind the past few days and the crash scene was the best thing that happened around here all week. You think it hurts your stomach muscles to laugh that hard, try being pregnant and laughing that hard...

This particular scene involved Zach telling me he was going for a run with the baby. As scripted, I reply that he'd better put Baby Honey's helmet on. Zach insists they'll be fine, and then I beg him to at least buckle her in. He's says he'll be safe and off they go. A couple laps around the house and then they suddenly crash. I actually wasn't prepared with the camera the first time because I didn't realize it was going to be so funny. I begged Zach to do it again and he graciously complied after I asked him a dozen times. Jacob ate it right up every time.

Stay-at-Home Day

About once in three weeks Zach has a day where he doesn't have to be at work, nor does he need to attend to a side job. That means he's home with Jacob and me all day and it's a big deal around here. We make big plans for these days, plans which we usually end up tossing out the window because we're so tired from being so busy in all the days before.

Saturday was one of these stay-at-home days. We went to breakfast at the diner because Jacob has been waiting for months for Zach to be able to do this with us. It was a good start to the day, but when we got home we lost all our steam and pretty much lazed about the rest of the day.

When we were leaving the diner, there was this kid about Jacob's ago with a disposable plastic container that had a hole in the top of it. They were in the little room between the two doors which has the game machines in it. His mom, or whoever was supervising him was sitting, in her pajamas, on the bench at the other side of the room. When we went to walk out the door, the kid stood in front of it and shoved the container an arm's length from his body in our direction. We just looked at him and waited for him to say something but he didn't. So Zach said, "What's that for?" and the kid just kept looking at him. So finally the mom told him to say what the money was for. The kid finally answered and he said "Baseball." That's it. Zach reached into his pocket and tossed some change in the container.

I really don't like the practice of planting kids outside the door and having them beg for money for whatever charitable purpose it's the time of year for. I'm really surprised that the diner would allow someone to solicit like that...It's not teaching the kids anything, and really just either makes you feel like a jerk if you don't have any change on you, or makes you angry that you had to fork over some cash for some ambiguous reason. I like being charitable, but not in that way.

The kid didn't have anything official with him, and he didn't even say thank you. I wanted to reach back in the bucket and grab our change back. And then pinch him or something. Brat. When we got out to the car I asked Zach how much he gave the kid. "Four quarters." I wasn't happy to hear that, "You gave him a dollar?! I would have just curled my hand up with a bunch of pennies to make it sound like a lot of money."

Yikes. This isn't what this post was supposed to be about. I guess I'm still angry about that kid. I had other stuff to write about the day but now I can't remember any of it, and Jacob and Zach are both asleep so I can't ask them what the heck it was we did for the rest of the day.

I know him too well

Zach thinks he can get things past me, but he has no secrets.

We have an ongoing battle with the soda and Red Bull consumption of his. First off, soda is nothing more than liquid candy that is marked up to high hell and I won't allow it in my house. Red Bull is expensive and on principle I won't spend money on it because we used to get cases of it free from my brother who worked for the company for several years.

A few weeks ago I told Zach I was going to the store and planned to return the cans and bottles so could he please go get all the returnables that are in his car and bring them to me? The fact that the man cannot remember to bring in a single beverage container from the car is another matter. He came back in with a few seltzer bottles and handed them to me. I just looked at him. "Now go get the Coke bottle and Red Bull can that are in the cup holders, please." His eyes grew wide and he stammered, "How do you know about those?" Please. I know everything.

Well just now he comes home from work (real job) to change into his 'work' (Carhartt) clothes to head to the bathroom remodel he's working on. Zach's saying how he's so tired (because he had to be at work at 6am) and I offer to make him coffee. He declines. Jokingly I say, "Oh, you probably have a Red Bull in the car that you're trying to sneak and that's why you don't want coffee." He says he doesn't have a Red Bull in the car but I just happen to notice a little bit of hesitation in his eyes so I do a double-take and his eyes are wide with fear. So I say "I don't believe you," and head to the door and start to slide on Zach's shoes. "What are you doing? No, no, I need those, I was just going to get the mail..." He trails off in a fit of laughter.

I get out to the car and it's worse than a Red Bull - he has a Starbucks Frappuccino in the cup holder! From the passenger's door I mouth You son of a bitch and gather up the three travel mugs that have been missing all week. He may have gotten away without lying to me, but now I know the cold, hard truth that my husband has been sneaking the mocha goodness and not bringing it into the house to share with me.

How dare he. Like Eve with the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, I was the one who introduced him to Sweet Heaven of the Starbucks Frappuccino with an 'add shot' and the ensuing caffeine high. Last year at this time Zach turned his nose up at anything coffee but through dedicated laboring, I gradually turned him over to the world of cool. I have taught him the correct terminology, different techniques, successfully kept him away from the flavored coffee sect.

And in return he's been seeing the Starbucks baristas behind my back.

A vegetarian's kid

Today at book club a couple kids had been eating Jello at the counter. As Jacob settled down at the counter for some zucchini bread I said, "Oh, wait a sec, I want to wipe up that Jello." Jacob looked puzzled and asked me, "Mommy, what's Jello?" All the moms looked at me and laughed because they know this about me. They know we're vegetarians and the moms and I have actually had the Jello conversation before.

Then we all kind of looked at each other because how do you explain Jello to a kid other than to to just give 'em a dish and let them go to town? So it was funny on a couple different levels. I couldn't come up with a decent explanation, I just said "It's something we don't eat because we're vegetarian." And no one else had a better answer either.

Scary...

I like the challenge of little tests like this one so I took it. I got an 18 out of 20. Funny thing is I was almost positive about most of the logos. I think it's so fascinating how our brains just absorb information like that. I didn't plan to give Jacob the test, but anytime I am doing anything that appears remotely interesting to Jacob he is at my side, peering over my shoulder. So I went back to the beginning and let him have a go at it.

This is a child who watches limited TV, and mostly videos at that so he's not seeing advertisements. When he does watch actual TV it's PBS, which doesn't even have traditional commercials. And he's also sheltered by his mother. But Jacob got over half the logos correct, and he was pretty sure about the ones he did get right. He was even able to tell me why one was correct and the other wasn't. I just think it's crazy that in only four years he's already gotten so much exposure to advertising. It just goes to show that you can't avoid it, and if you want to keep kids immune to marketing like that you have to continue to have dialogue about it and make them think critically about stuff like that.

Recess

March 19th:

School is out, at least for me, and I am so excited to finally have the time to catch up on things. I passed, and that is enough, and if nothing else the experience has temporarily reminded me to be grateful for the new scheduling freedom I have now.

The first thing I did when I finished my last paper this weekend was pick up the one of the books I'd been using for my paper and read it cover to cover. I had it for a few years but never got around to reading it; Our Babies, Ourselves, by Meredith Small. I loved this book. And I read up on the author and I think I love her. I'm talking love on the level that I love Jane Goodall.

Sunday was the day I got to be lazy, and I earned it. Except for working out and proving that I can still do push-ups at six months pregnant, I pretty much caught up on sleep and cleaned the house. I couldn't wait to clean the house!

Monday started the week that is bursting full of activities. First we took Ginger to the vet, where we are now dropping her off and picking her up three times a week for her physical therapy. Then we met up with some mom/kid friends at a play place.

Tuesday we had a morning activity at someone's house then we visited Zach at work for a good, long hour or more because this is the time of year we don't see him unless we go to his work and hunt him down. We came home, did some more cleaning and stuff, then I got tired so I put a video on for Jacob and sat down to start the book club book for this month. Oh. My. God.

I didn't put that book down until 2am when I'd read through all 400 pages of it. And I did that all while being the sole caregiver to a four year old, two dogs and three rabbits. That's how into this book I was. It was one of those experiences where you walk around in a trance, making dinner, sitting at the table to keep your kid company at meal time, ushering him up to the bath, pulling out pajamas, reading bedtime stories - all with one eye still on the book.

March 26th:

And then I didn't get a chance to write anything for a whole week. I read the sequel to Blackbird - Still Waters in as many hours as it took me to read the first one, and it was just as good. Now I'm in the middle of the third book, Show Me the Way. We met for the book club today, talked about the book, and then got down to business and talked about LOST. I am more than obsessed with it this year. I have been a dedicated LOST fan since the very beginning, and I've kept at it even when it was boring. Now it's finally paying off and the show is getting good. Except now we have to wait until April 24th for more episodes - five more to be exact, and then we have to wait nine more months for the next season!

Anyway, I haven't gotten very much done on my to-do list that I was so anxious to get to when my class first ended. I realized that even though I'm not spending time on the class, Jacob is no longer spending great amounts of time at my mom's house and so I don't have several hours to myself every couple days.

Well, I'd better get to my to-do list on this rare evening that Zach is home.

Reality TV goes over the edge

I just read about this new reality show coming out where parents hand over their 6 month+ infants to teenage couples for several days in the name of entertainment. I can't even begin to describe the many levels on which this is disturbing. I'm absolutely horrified that they're apparently going to go through with this, and if I was done writing my last paper for my class, I would surely go about what a bad idea this is. Here's link to the webpage, and one to an article about the original British series this one is based on. And here's an open letter to NBC urging them to stop the insanity.

Full Circle

My mom likes to tell the story of when I was three and out of the blue one day I asked "Who is going to bury the last person to die?" You know, like humans would die off and one day there wouldn't be any left, so the last remaining person would be without a burial. This was a pretty philosophical question for a three year old and it just goes to show that some parts of our personalities are there from the beginning; I am still that way, always asking the deep questions.

So now, at 27, I'm back to thinking that's going to happen - there'll be a day when humans won't be around. I think we're a failed species, and that the failure started to happen somewhere around the agricultural revolution. It's only a matter of time before we branch too far away from how humans were intended to live, to keep on living. I just hope when that time comes that we don't bring down the whole of the Earth and the rest of its inhabitants with us.

What got me thinking about all this right now is the letter that came in the mail yesterday. We got a new microwave in November, and in January it stopped working. I called Emerson to get a replacement, as there is a one year warranty, and they gave me trouble. Finally I got someone to agree to send me a replacement (the fact that it's easier to replace something than fix it is a whole other topic) but they wanted me to send a $15 money order for the shipping cost. Yeah right. It's their fault the microwave crapped out after two months. I kept calling until someone gave me the answer that I wanted.

So I did what they said, cut the cord, wrote a letter and mailed it in. They say it could take up to four weeks for the new one to come. That was three weeks ago. The letter came in the mail yesterday telling me that my request has just been processed and it will be two to three weeks for the microwave to come, but that if it hasn't arrived in six weeks to please contact them about it. That is such crap. It could conceivably be more than two months and I might still not have a microwave.

Do you have any idea how often American households use their microwaves? Try taking it away and you'll probably realize that you use it several times a day. On one hand I'm happy having to make do without, and a microwave is certainly something that people a generation before didn't have the benefit of. But on the other hand I'm just pissed at this company and the way they are handling this. I almost wish it was something truly necessary that had broken because that would give me the right to get really angry about it.

All of this gets me thinking about technology and how dependent we are on it. How if all the technological things that make up the very bones of our existence should ever break down, the human race pretty much would stop dead in its tracks. I'm convinced that someday the internet is going to crash and with that most of our existence will be gone - it's scary to put so much stock in something we have very little understanding of (at least I don't understand how it works). It's the reason that I still do math in my head when I have the time, or refuse to get cable, or try to understand the technological intricacies beyond what I need to know to make something usable to me. I don't ever want to forget how to use my brain.

I saw something advertised on TV after LOST last week (the one hour of regular TV I watch all week)...it was a special about what will happen when humans do finally die off...how the other species will take over the world, all our precious monuments will start to crumble, etc. And while I was intrigued, I wasn't enough to actually watch it because I'm definitely not happy about what I think is going to happen. I mean, why am I having another child to be brought up in a world that is unhealthy?

But on a daily basis now I must field questions about these topics because my four year old is obsessed with death. He's making stronger connections everyday, asking harder questions. He knows now that everything and every person will die - that that is part of the cycle of life. A couple weeks ago Jacob put an arrow through my heart when he vocalized my deepest fear. He asked in a meek voice, "Mommy? Someday am I going to die?" Then yesterday, the fear that is equally as immobilizing, "Mommy? Are you going to die?" Yikes. I told him no, not for a very long time. "But Gordy died." What he meant by that is that my father died when I was a young, so what is stopping one of his parents from dying before he's grown up. That is the question that I'd been holding my breath for.

I'm giving him answers, but it's really tough because I'm still trying to figure out what I believe. So I give him the answers that I wish were true in the hope that maybe someday I'll start to believe my own words.

We're those people now...

This post is from back in the fall when I was in my first trimester and started posts only to get too tired to finish them. I hate having drafts in my folder so I'm trying to weed them all out by either posting them or deleting them. Not that it's even relevant anymore but my post about Ginger the other day got me thinking about this one. I think this was supposed to go in with the post about Mango opening the trash cans...
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Mango usually directs her assaults at me and Jacob, so that's why I was surprised this morning when I heard Zach's exclamations as he was walking down the stairs, headed for the kitchen. I thought maybe she was chewing his hat, or maybe a paint brush, he was so mad. But she swallowed whole the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. It was a sandwich. The sandwich he had just made for himself to take to the paint job he was on the way out the door to. Mango had jumped up to the counter and snatched it. I generally tend to apply a great many psychological implications to the things she decides to chew, so my head is really spinning as to why she would chew/eat something of Zach's. But then again, I also like to think of Mango as an opportunist, albeit not a smart one, but in this case I need to remind myself that sometimes, to a dog, a sandwich really is just a sandwich.

The sandwich incident is merely another offense to add to the list in a long line of misdeeds and crude behavior she's been exhibiting recently. It's like Mango's experiencing a revival of her puppyhood. She's been so obnoxious lately, what with jumping all over people at the front door and barking at every little sound. There is the trash can opening that I wrote about before. And a recent obsession with the squirrel who frequents our yard. Mango stands at the sliding glass door that opens into the backyard all day long just waiting for the little visitor. Then when she sees the squirrel she goes berserk, racing all around the house and barking, looking for a human to let her outside. She never catches the darn thing, but we love to stand there at the door, almost opening it, egging her on to go get it. Then we open the door to unleash the beast and she goes flying across the yard faster than I thought was possible of her.

So anyway, we're those people now. The ones with the crazy dog who is out of control and has to be put away when the guests come.

Playtime

Things have been pretty good and light around here lately. I can feel spring coming and I swear to God if it doesn't make good this month I'm going to go find it and kick its ass back into town. We all played a bit over the weekend because Zach wasn't working 12 hours a day for a change, and like usual, I was procrastinating about writing another paper for my class. The light was nice so I got out my camera and put on the macro lens for some of the pictures. I think I'm getting the hang of it? Jacob took one of these pictures, you can probably tell which one.

So this is what Zach and Jacob do - they wrestle and rough-house. They get crazy and so does Mango, you can see parts of her in a couple of the pictures. This is what it's like when Zach gets home from work at the end of the day. Both of them, Jacob and Mango, just attack him. They try to get as close as they can and push each other out of the way competing for his attention. I can only imagine what it will be like when we have another human child in the house!

Freaky Friday

So the saga continues with dogs. Remember Ginger had her hip surgery last summer? She's still not 'back to normal' so-to-speak, but then again we don't know what normal is for her. She still mostly limps is what I mean. It was supposed to be about 6-8 weeks before she was fully recovered from the surgery and using her leg. Instead of her hip situation getting better she took on a completely different personality 6-8 weeks after the surgery. She was acting like a puppy, full of new life and energy, which, naturally we took as a good sign. She'd have an occasional flare-up where she was in extreme pain in the hip area for a few days.

Then a couple months ago she stepped up the puppy behavior to a whole new annoying level. And the weirdest behavior is that she chews things now, like inappropriate things (Jacob's toys).
Ginger does this pounding/dancing thing with her front paws on the floor when she is excited. I don't know what that's all about, but it's really annoying. She barks now (which she never did), jumps all over people at the front door, constantly whines in the middle of the night, etc. Mango is quickly becoming the favored dog.

Today I walked into the living room where Jacob's beloved United States puzzle lay scattered across the floor. And there was Ginger sitting off to the side chewing Idaho! I don't know what it is with this puzzle that gets her but she's already chewed Maine, the piece that comprises Vermont and New Hampshire, as well as Ohio. Then suddenly, as I spoke the words "I would haven expected that out of Mango, but not you" aloud, I realized what has happened. They have switched bodies.

So anyway, Ginger recently had another flare-up and then an x-ray at the vet's. They have determined that she is an excellent candidate for physical therapy and so next week (after my class is over) I will begin bringing her there for physical therapy three times a week. And all I can say is thank God we just got our tax money back because that does not come without a price tag.

Oh Goodie

Marisa (my niece) came over to play, by Jacob's request, after school today. They actually play really well together these days, whereas in the past I would describe their relationship as a love/hate one. So all went well for three hours and then my sister showed up to bring Marisa home. And since my sister is more of a child than the other two combined, that's when the knock-knock jokes started.

Jacob hasn't really had a lot of experience with this type of humor so at first he was all, "Knock-knock huh?" And then in no time flat it went from virtual non-knowledge to, "Knock-knock"
"Who's there?"
"Orange banana Jacob banana orange Mango table banana banana banana orange Stacey Jacob book waterbottle banana...." And on and on until he'd listed everything in sight.

So now all I'm gonna hear out of his mouth is stupid knock-knock jokes that I have to pretend to find funny. Let the games begin.

The good thing about having TWO dogs...

...there's always another one to eat the puke the first one just threw up.

Zach just ran into the kitchen gagging and warned me about what's happening on the nice carpet in the living room. Apparently Ginger couldn't stomach her dinner tonight and spewed it all over. I can just hear Mango's reaction if she could talk. "Alright! Score on the double-dinner tonight!" It must have been the highlight of her day.

Zach won't let Mango near him now...he's all, get away from me you nasty dog.

"I'd just like to see you let her lick your face now" I replied.

Dear Jacob: January/February 2008

If I could say only one thing about the past two months, it would more than suffice to tell about your fantasy world. That's pretty much 95% of your life right now, the rest is just background noise. For example, should the phone ever ring in our house, you jump up to get it telling me "It's probably the pavers!" You've got a running dialog with them. Our driveway needs to be fixed and you called them weeks ago telling them what day to come. They haven't called back, but you haven't lost heart.

Or how about the chicken coop that you were going to build? You held onto that one for a good couple weeks. It was going to go in our back yard and we'd have lots of chickens so that we'd always have organic eggs at the ready. Since then that plan has morphed into the current fantasy: You're going to build a barn. You're going to buy the land across the street that is for sale and build your barn there. Apparently one day you asked MamMa how people buy land and she talked all about needing the money to buy it, going to the people who own it and getting the deed from them. So you know exactly what you need to do, and a couple weekends ago, in all seriousness, you came to get me and announced you were ready to go across the street (to the house you assumed owns the land) and give them the money from your piggy bank in exchange for the deed to their land. In that moment there was no pretending left to do so I had to tell you the truth that it was simply something we couldn't do. You didn't talk to me for an hour.


Starting around Christmas you went through this short-lived shy phase, but that has long passed and anyone who will talk to you gets the full story about the barn you are building. You're going to have cows also, by the way. Despite the fact that I truly believe some day you will become a builder and build that barn or yours, it's hard listening to you go on and on about it right now. I feel like you are this ball of potential with all these dreams and hopes, and you want to see that stuff realized now, but the fact of the matter is you are only four.

In addition to talking about your fantasy buildings, you actually draw out the plans. You have a little work book that you made yourself with paper and staples which you carry around everywhere drawing up the blueprints. They actually look pretty good. You went from being a kid who never had any interest in drawing to be obsessed with it overnight. I really wish I could help you figure out how to carry out all these grandiose plans because it's painful for a parent to not be able to give their child something they so desperately desire. I'm trying to get Daddy to commit to some cool projects with you in the spring to serve as an outlet. Hopefully you guys will get to start with a nice dog house.

Anyway, some of the background noise I was talking about include the following:

Second only to building, are your cleaning urges. You are still really into it and often beg me to let you clean something. Dust, vacuum, clean windows, dishes, put away laundry, you do it all.


Your new favorite place in the house is sitting on top of the radiators. You like taking your meals on the radiator in the kitchen now. At any given time I'm most likely to find you on a radiator, that is when you are not running around the circle in our house doing you 'exercises'. You put on the Sauconies I bought on sale that are still a little too big, get into your workout clothes and set to doing at least 20 laps around the house.


Shoveling also tops the list. And we've had a lot of snow this winter, so this has been good news for you. Sometimes we have trouble getting you to stop shoveling to just play in the snow.

There's about a million other things that I could say about these past months. You're such a fun, quirky kid and I'm really looking forward to seeing what the next few months bring.