Perfect Balance

I'd call that overzealous housekeeping

Jacob still loves to clean the house and do all kinds of housework. Lately he's really been into doing the laundry. He asks me at all hours of the day if he can vacuum, do dishes, help with the laundry, etc. He takes it upon himself to empty the garbage cans, make the bed, use the dust buster on messes. So it wasn't a huge surprise when I heard him yell down to me in the kitchen tonight. But still the following sentence is one I never expected to hear from my four year old.

"Can somebody get me out of this freaking hamper?!"

"What?" I yelled up. He repeated it. Like I said, it should have been self-explanatory, but somehow I had to see it to believe it.

Jacob decided to take it upon himself to empty the laundry basket, but had to climb in to get the things at the very bottom. And then he couldn't get out. Hence the call for help. Click on the picture for a detailed description.

Crunching Numbers, Pinching Pennies

It seems like the ever-rising cost of gas is never going to end. Along with that is the rising cost of groceries and other essentials. The effect it's had on our little family is that we don't have much left in the disposable income category. Things are getting so freaking expensive that I'm really starting to worry, as are most of the other stay-at-home moms I talk to.

Zach and I have been trying to figure out ways where we can save money and we've been coming up with surprising amounts. For instance, the upcoming rise in postage rates led us to examine how much we spend just mailing out the monthly bills. We figured that it takes $42 a year just to mail the bills back. Even though Zach actually enjoys the process of mailing the bills every month (and I've actually heard other people say this too) we decided it's time we start paying them online. Maybe $42 over the course of a year doesn't sound like much, but I'm at the point where it makes my day if I find a forgotten one dollar bill in my back pocket, so I figure that's a "Yeah, I found an extra dollar!" moment almost every week out of the year.

Also, I might be the last person to know about the Forever stamps. Oh nevermind, I just realized I got bad information. I thought someone told me that postage rates were going to go up to $.50 in a couple weeks. It turns out it's only a one cent increase. I guess I'd have to buy 100 Forever stamps to even save a dollar in the long run, and that would mean $41 up front, so I guess I won't be doing that.

Here's another thing: We used to pay $69 and change bimonthly for garbage disposal. Then they did that sneaky thing where they start charging you half that monthly, but raised it a little so you don't notice. So we were up to $36.45 and we're hardly even filling the can halfway. We got the size they recommended based on the number of people in our family, which according to the website is considered a 'large family' at three people. We were getting the biggest size they offer, 95 gallons! Zach called this morning and ordered up the 35 gallon size, the smalled they offer. Now we're only going to pay $25 and change a month. That'll be almost $11 in savings a month, $130 a year! We were basically throwing away (pun intended) that much money each year. I recycle so much of our garbage and it's composting season, we'll easy make it with the small can. I guess it literally does pay to recycle.

Other than those efforts, I'm constantly doing daily things to reduce gas and grocery bills. I collect coupons like mad. I always combine errands, avoid making special trips for things, last year I started driving the Civic because it gets much better mileage than the van. Zach drives half a mile down the road to work and I drive Jacob all over town. When we went to Camp this weekend we packed light, made other traveling arrangements for the dogs, and squeezed into the Civic. It cost $42 round trip for gas, and we figure it would have been at least twice as much in the van. Totally worth it.

Camp

On Friday we left to go up north to Camp. This is a little bit earlier than we usually go, but the dock had to be repaired before the water was let back into the lake (it's a man-made lake). Jamie, Zach and my uncle planned a time when we could all go up and fix it together. Besides, in a few weeks I will be too close to my due date to leave town and I will be so sad that I won't be able to go to Camp, so it was a nice time to go. The weather was beautiful all weekend long and the black flies are not out yet.

It's a long drive there, especially for two dogs,
a four year old and a pregnant lady so we
have to make some stops to stretch our legs.

When the "are we there yet" line of
questioning started Jacob got a little
sedative - aka a Ring Pop, his first ever.

We couldn't have the usual camp fire though
because Smokey the Bear said it's too dry.

I guess the water got let in early, but
everyone got right to work when we arrived.

The work space.

The work crew.

When not assisting the work crew, Jacob
enjoyed digging...

Climbing trees...

And swinging.

I enjoyed taking pictures...

Of blueberry buds...

Spider eggs...

And a waterfall.

I could end it here, on a happy note, but I have talk about the ride home. Jacob and I had to leave early Sunday morning for a friend's birthday party back at home. It was the first time I'd ever done the drive by myself (without another adult to talk to) but I did well. I made it through the border patrol with the rest area just out of reach, drove straight through the two hours when Jacob was sleeping even though the baby was playing trampoline on my bladder, kept my cool when he spilled a full thing of chocolate milk on the backseat (and all over the nice shirt I had just ironed and hung in the backseat so I could change before the party) because Jacob thought that it would just sit upright in a MOVING CAR, made it home in record time and even stopped at Target to spend my last six dollars on a box of gift tags.

Then we cruised to the party location and get this - got there ON TIME, which never happens. In the five minutes it took Jacob and I to change our clothes in the back seat, slap a gift tag on the present and gather myself enough to walk in, I watched several families go into the building. None of them I knew. I got a little nervous, but we walked in anyway. When I didn't see even the birthday boy, I knew something was wrong. A quick trip back to the car and a phone call to a friend proved my instincts were right. The party had gotten changed and I missed the memo. It's next weekend.

On the drive home I called my mom to report the bad news and I burst into tears. Half my family was still at my favorite place on Earth enjoying the awesome weather and togetherness and I had just spent the last four hours in the car rushing to a party I was a week early for. Jacob was so good about it and totally settled for a walk down the road to an ice cream place as a consolation prize, but I grumbled about the missed opportunity for the rest of the day. I suppose it could have been worse - we could have missed the party altogether.

Oh, and my cousin just e-mailed the finished product so I can see it for myself.

Signs of Spring

Spring is upon us. Actually, it's been so warm it's more like summer, except that is was just a couple weeks ago that we had snow. Weird. Here's some pictures from around the yard yesterday. Kori, if you're reading this you might want to skip any of the pictures after the first three flowers!

Tulip

Red Tulip

Too pretty to be a weed

I named him Harry

He enjoyed climbing on the bunnies' playpen

Someone's lunch

Lost and found


And last but not least, the really nasty tick that was on Zach this morning...

I told him it was the most embedded tick I've ever seen. It was really in there. It's a deer tick (the kind that can transmit Lyme Disease) so it's being analyzed now and Zach will find out tomorrow if he needs to go on antibiotics. What would spring be in the northeast without a good tick scare?

Oh, and the one thing that I didn't get a picture of...the floater(ie, mouse) in the baby pool that sits in the back yard full of leaves and green water. Ginger had a romp in it today so I went back to investigate the conditions of the pool. And there is was. Oh yuck. I almost spewed all over the place. My mom was here at the time and she's even worse about stuff like that, so I told her that I wish Stella was here. Stella wouldn't be afraid of it. She'd come right over and pull that thing out with her bare hand. But we've got word that she'll be back from the long winter in just a couple days. Jacob is more excited about that than Christmas!

We're heading up north in the morning and won't be back until Sunday. I'm hoping when we get home she'll already be here. Kind of like when you get up to go to the bathroom in a restaurant and when you come back to the table your food has arrived.

Memo

There's been some concern about this post. Just in case it's not clear, it was a joke. Zach was digging holes for new fence posts and Jacob wanted to get into one. It was a cute picture so I got my camera but told him to pose like that for dramatic effect. That explanation takes the fun out of it...but now I can sleep tonight.

There goes the video camera

It's been over a year since Jacob killed our video camera. We got our tax money back nice and early this year so for the past six weeks we've been planning to buy a new video camera. I've done my part and researched online, as well as asking around to all my friends about their opinions. In all that time there hasn't been once when Zach and I could actually get to a store to either just look at one and buy it online, or even just buy it in the store. We've been good and held onto the money put aside for the new camera.

This morning we dropped the Civic off for repair work. The front struts had to be replaced, as well as an inspection and oil change: $644. Oh my God already with the car repairs! Every other month it seems we're bringing one of the cars in for big repairs. I swear, as soon as we get that nice check from George W, we're heading right to the store.

Are your kids out of control?

Dig a big hole in the backyard and stick 'em in it. That'll keep them immobile for a while so you can get some down time.

Day 8 - The Conclusion

Well, I woke up to a shock this morning. I puttered about in the kitchen for a while and then started to clean up by placing some dishes in the sink. And then I saw it. The bowl - the bowl - was sitting in the sink and it was full of hot, soapy water. I froze and thought Ho-ly crap. I just stood there for a minute in shock. I was actually beginning to think that the glob would never get dumped. And you know what? Upon further reflection, I'm coming to realize that my initial shock was more about sadness. I had gotten used to the stinky bowl of rapidly multiplying microorganisms sitting there on the stove.

When Zach got home later I finally brought up the subject of the glop formerly known as banana soup. I don't yet know the details about what was going on in his head - I have to take my time with that one - but I was just dying to ask where it got dumped. Over in the wooded area of Stella's yard. Ha! She's still in Florida so what's the harm? Actually, now that I'm thinking of Stella, she will really appreciate this story. I'll have to show her the pictures when she comes back later this month.

So now the glop is gone. It's been many hours, there's no longer any trace of it. However, the smell remains. Actually the smell is following my everywhere I go. I smelled it earlier in the car. I smell it in other parts of the house. I think I may be suffering from some sort of post traumatic stress disorder; perhaps I'm having olfactory hallucinations? Either that, or the smell is coming from somewhere else and the latter is possibly the more frightening of two.

After Picture

The empty stove

In between all the glop...

Other than the drama with the banana soup on the stove, there's been a lot going on. On Thursday morning Jacob and I left town with a friend of mine and her daughter. We went to visit another friend of ours and her kids. Here's where we went:






We got home late on Friday night. Jacob was so happy to be home, so Zach declared Saturday a 'stay at home day'. Woohoo! We get one of these every couple weeks. On Saturday morning the boys went outside to do some yard/construction work. They stayed out until 8pm. Except for a short break in a Slip 'n Slide, Jacob was out there with Zach the whole time. He is such a worker bee it's unbelievable. By the end of the day I had an outdoor cage for the bunnies (for which Zach has plans to build an attached run), Jacob's dig pit was finally completed, and the outline for the barn/shed they are going to build was dug in the ground. If he had been sitting around doing nothing I would be mad about the crap on the stove, but since he's been keeping busy getting things done I can only really think about it and laugh.





This morning Jacob and I went to Church. I grew up going to church every week, but I don't go that often now. It's the same church I went to growing up so the rest of my family goes there, rather, the members of my family who still go to church. I don't really know how I feel about it anymore, the whole religion thing. When I do go it's really just for Jacob, so he has something like that in his life.

When we walked in a little bit late, Jacob and I immediately increased the amount of people in the church by 20%. Besides us there were only eight other people there. There was a substitute priest today, Mother Ann. When she came toward our pew in the middle of the service she walked over to Jacob and asked him if he would like to help her. He nodded his agreement and took her hand, walking up the aisle to the alter. For the rest of the service he stayed up by the alter with her and helped ring the bells, serve the bread, pour the wine, etc. He was so cute and so obedient. I was surprised that he actually went with her because he's so shy. But it was nice to see someone treating Jacob like he's capable. I really appreciate it when adults treat children like they belong, like they have an integral part in our world and like they are valued for the things they can do. When they're taken seriously. I was really proud of him.

Back at my mom's for a quick visit Jacob let himself into the bathroom for an extended amount of time. I didn't think this was unusual because of the stink coming from within but when Jacob came back out of the bathroom he had a devilish grin on his face. He fessed up to having cut his hair while he was in there. Great. He's been doing this for three out of the four years of his life and I really thought it would have gotten old by now. Just when I think he's finally outgrown that phase, he does it again. Months can go by and his hair stays intact save for when the proper person (barber) cuts it. It's always in the most conspicuous area too, on his forehead. There's a big ole spot missing in the middle of his forehead and if you push the hair back it reveals an almost shaven look in this two inch radius.

We're all sitting around telling Jacob he shouldn't do that, "Don't cut your hair again, please." We beg. Why not? Jacob wants to know. Jamie tells him because then the barber won't have any hair to cut. That doesn't make too much sense to Jacob - there will always be more hair to cut. My mom couldn't come up with any good reason why not, and me, all I could say was, "Because you will look goofy." But what does a four year old care about looking goofy? So really, what is the reason that a kid shouldn't cut his own hair? We will certainly save a lot of money if I just let him do it himself from now on.


Jacob cutting his hair. Why not? I don't know, what do you say to that?

Day 7

It's still there. Last night I thought it was over when Zach came into the kitchen, announced that something smelled and started peering around for the source of the odor. "I don't know...it can't be the garbage," I said, "because I just emptied the trash."

Zach then picked up the glop, put it to his face and smelled. "Oh man, this has got to go!" He said with a furrowed brow.

"Sure, go ahead." I told him.

He then set it back down on the stove and left the room. I'm sorry, did he decide that the putrid odor is NOT coming from the thing that is about to take on a new life form? Because there is no question about the smell in the kitchen, and really, what else could it be coming from?

From this picture you can see the white crust
is growing further up the side and the liquid
portion is becoming almost solidified.

Here you can observe the slight askew-ness
of the glop from its previous position. This is
due to Zach's picking it up and putting it back
down on the burner.

I certainly hope that burner does not accidentally get turned on because we'd have one hell of a mess. I'm actually beginning to wonder how we will get rid of it when the time finally does come. Should I be concerned that we may be committing an EPA violation?

Day 6

My apologies. What I had previously referred to as 'glop' Jacob has informed me is actually Banana Soup. I had been wondering.

For your viewing pleasure is a visual of the current status:

Day 6: The floating things on the top of the

liquid part are taking on some sort of gel-like
consistency. As a whole, the concoction is
becoming somewhat homogeneous.

Last night when we were getting ready for bed, after I'd spent over an hour tiredly unpacking, Zach actually asked me when I was going to dump 'that stuff'. I acted cool and made no mention of my experiment. I casually told him, "Oh yeah, I said a couple days ago that you could get rid of it." Then we went to bed.

Zach was up earlier than me this morning so one would expect that maybe he'd just been too tired to do it last night and that dumping the glop would be top priority this morning. Not a chance. He is not like me - that is to say manipulative and cunning. This is not a game of who can outlast whom. This is simply an extraordinary example of husband laziness.

There used to be a time when I would be hurt that Zach wouldn't read my blog, but now I'm kind of glad I can carry out The Great Husband Experiment sans his awareness. This is becoming almost fun. Zach tells me he doesn't need to read my blog because he lives its contents. But what he doesn't know is that in a way he's co-authoring it.

Back at home...

Was this:

Day 5

Jacob and I got home last night from our couple days out of town. We went to visit some friends and rode out with some other friends of ours. Details and pictures to come tomorrow. For now I thought you'd like to see the status of what I've now taken to calling The Great Husband Experiment. One can't quite smell it when you walk in the front door, but from the moment you step into the kitchen it's obvious something is 'a brewin in there. It is an even darker shade of brown now and there is fuzzy white stuff growing on the sides. I think a couple more days is all it will take to bump the glop up to toxic level. I just hope the government people don't catch on...

What puke looks like

I can't remember what the context of this conversation was, but two days ago Jacob asked what puke looks like. I don't know where that question came from, but I think he said puke. He might have said 'Fro up'. Anyway, while I was making dinner that same day he kept himself busy in the bathroom with a little project of his own. He had a bowl, the water from the sink and then he came into the kitchen and asked me for some ingredients. I gave him an old box of baking soda but that was all I could spare. Then a few minutes later he came into the kitchen and asked for a banana. I asked him why and he said it was to eat. I told him ok but he'd have to eat it in front of me in the kitchen. Jacob opened it and took a few bites to appease me and then with my suspicion assuaged, he must have crept out of the kitchen and got down to business in the bathroom.

After he'd gone to bed that night I went into the bathroom and saw the 'creation'. Until then I hadn't realized he didn't finish the banana in front of me. That little creep knew enough to fake it by eating a few bites before using it for its intended purpose. It was all mushed up floating in the bowl of water and the baking soda was laying at the bottom. It struck me that it was exactly what puke looks like. So I thought I'd wait until the morning and show Jacob and we could have a good laugh about it. I moved it to the stove. Last night it was still on the stove. I had finally gotten around to taking a picture of it, but still hadn't dumped it. Zach walked into the kitchen, saw it and asked if 'we' could get rid of it now. "Sure," I told him "Go ahead and dump it." And that was all I heard from him. I guess he decided it wasn't worth the effort, either that or by 'we' he meant ME.

So this would technically be day 3. The gunk is still there on the stove and I am not touching it. It has become one of my little experiments. I am leaving early in the morning and will be back late Friday night. My money is on Zach will still not have dumped it by the time we get back. It looks even more nasty than it did when I took the picture, and if it's still there on Friday I'll take another picture and start documenting my experiment on a daily basis.

This week so far

The past few days have been a random bunch of occurrences that have made for an interesting week but to the outside world is probably just a whole lot of nothing worth mentioning. Nevertheless, I have to get some of it down here before we leave town tomorrow or it will all be lost to the back of my memory by the time we get back.

The first noteworthy thing actually happened last week but I'm so disappointed with its outcome that I have to at least mention it. I was cleaning up for a playgroup on Friday when I found a folded over receipt on the desk. It was from the deli next to the college and it was for 2 Red Bulls and a slice of pizza. I had actual incriminating evidence of Zach's unhealthy splurging and I totally called him on it when he got home later that day. It's really just a big joke between us and it's so funny that no matter how hard he tries he can't get anything past me. He was like "Damn, I really have to get on my game and start covering my tracks better." Actually, he doesn't really talk like that, but it was something to that effect. And it's really not sounding as funny as it was. Anyway, my point was that I set aside the receipt and I was going to scan it and post it along with the funny story (which was much more funny the day it actually happened). But then the receipt went missing and I looked all over the place for it. Zach had torn it up and thrown it out.

On Monday I stopped at the library to pick up something I had requested and I knew I had a late fee that I'd been putting off so I brought my wallet in and decided to pay for it. I gave the girl my card and as she was scanning it I pulled out my money to count it. I had three dollars and the fee came to $2.50. I really hadn't thought it was that much so I wasn't expecting to turn over all of my remaining money. I hesitated a minute to think whether I really wanted to do it and then I finally said out loud, "No, I'd better pay it because when my fine gets too high I can't renew online and that's what keeps getting me these late fees in the first place." I handed over the money and she said, "Are you sure you're ok with this?" I probably should have been embarrassed or something that it was so obvious I was having trouble handing over three bucks, but it's really just too funny that I am that poor, that it was killing me that much to pay a library late fee.

On the way out of the library (I'd been in there about five minutes) I walked past a car sitting in the fire lane with a woman in the passenger's seat and the engine running. She had been there when I walked in but I didn't expect her to still be there when I left. First off, what is with people parking in the fire lane to run in to a place for a quick trip? Is it really that much of a problem to park in the lot? I would feel like an idiot sitting there sticking out like a sore thumb. If you really are just running in to drop off a book, that's one thing, but this car was there for a long time. And more importantly, what the hell was the engine doing on?! It was the most mild day you could ask for, there was no way they needed any kind of temperature control in the car, so why, I repeat, why did they need to leave the engine running especially considering the current cost of gas??

I've actually been paying a lot of attention lately to other peoples' car habits since I wrote about the jerk blocking me in last week. I had no idea how many people park crooked. But that doesn't bother me nearly as much as the leaving the car running thing. Every single store I've been to in the last few days I've seen at least one car, sometimes two or three at a time, just sitting there in the fire lane with their engines running. Are they crazy? Today at the grocery store it really pissed me off because this one car was totally blocking the entrance and this little old man I'd been politely walking behind and not passing had to go completely out of his way to get around the car and believe me it took him like three extra minutes.

Speaking of cars and driving, there's been a shoe sitting in the middle of one of the major intersections by my house. I go through it almost every day and for almost a week now I've noticed this lone, black shoe sitting in the median between lanes. It's probably the most boring thing in the universe to daydream about, but it's occupied a great deal of my thoughts the last few days? How did it get there? Is the owner missing it? What was the fate of its mate? Why hasn't anyone picked it up? Why hasn't anyone run it over yet? It was kind of nice having that little shoe there to pass by every day. Then yesterday I noticed it flattened and in the middle of one of the driving lanes. Today all that was left was the sole of the shoe. Hmm.

Yesterday and today we had glorious weather and we spent four hours each day at different parks with the rest of the moms and their entourages. It is so nice to be out in the fresh air again! After the first park day Jacob and I had to make a couple stops. One was to the computer store because something else on my computer had taken a turn for the worse. Well, when I walked in there was a guy being helped so Jacob and I had to sit and wait. I decided to turn on the computer so it would be all ready to show the guy. After it was turned on I ran through the part that I was having a problem with. And guess what. It worked. That's just great. It's not like I could turn around and walk out. I have so many issues with my computer that they know me there. But isn't that always the way it is? It's one of those laws of nature. Some device stops working, either replace said device or visit the repair shop and it suddenly starts working again, making you look like a fool.

The universe made amends to me after that though. Jacob and I had to make a quick stop at a Stewart's Shop. As I was finishing up paying for his chocolate milk I glanced over at the other counter and what do you think I saw? That's right. Cadbury eggs. Another law of nature. Give up the search, and suddenly what you were in search of magically appears without your having to look for it. They actually had a bunch of them but get this - they were $.79. Huh? Aren't they supposed to be on clearance or something? So I only got two but I'm so stoked about it I don't ever think I'll let them get eaten.

There you have it - the high points of my week: Finding Cadbury eggs and a shoe in the intersection - and the low points: Forking over three dollars at the library and a lost receipt for Red Bull.

The Puzzling Puzzle

This is one of our Melissa & Doug puzzles. As you can see the object of this particular puzzle is to experiment with different kinds of locks. The one on the upper right hand side is a combination lock and it came with and easy code: 1-2-3. But once you open it, it allows for you to change the combination if you so desire. So at one point in time this is what I did. Then a lot of time passed and we forgot the current combination.

The puzzle has recently been resurrected into circulation and Jacob really wants to open the one in the upper right hand corner. There are three different one digit numbers that make up the combination. Simple math brings you to the follow equation: 10x10x10 = 1,000 possibilities. That's a lot of trying to figure out the mysterious combination but I am determined. I'm going through systematically, starting with 0-0-0, 0-0-1, 0-0-2 and so on. I spent more time on it this weekend than I'm willing to admit. I actually had to start over at one point because I realized that I also can't remember which way you need to push the little knob over to get it to open once you've got it set to the right combination. So I'd only been doing it one way and what if that was the wrong way?

A girl can only take so much of this monotonous combination testing so occasionally Jacob takes over, but his method is more in line with what you would expect from a little boy. He wants to pry it open with different objects and simply bust the thing into obedience. I try to explain to him that this is not the way because even though it will be open, it will then be broken and we will never be able to figure out the combination. That would possibly be one of the great tragedies of my life. So for now I'm putting up with the monotony in the hopes that one of the combos will work.

I've left off in the 3-7-0 range so I've got a lot of work ahead of me. 10 bucks to the person who guesses what it is.

8 kids, 6 chickens, 4 dogs, 3 goats, 2 horses (and innumerable cats)

This is the menagerie in which we spent the company of this evening. My twin nephews turned nine last week and so a birthday party was in order. My step-sister and her husband (and their four children) now live in an old farm house on 80+ acres of land. And what better to do with that land than fill it with farm animals? Each time we go out there they have new additions.

It is always crazy when we get together with all the kids, et al, but I think tonight tops it. Two of the dogs there were guests (one of ours and another belonging to my other step-sister) so that added to the ruckus as they got used to the chickens (read: chased them mercilessly) roaming on the open range. Mango tried to chase the cats around but they were like puh-lease, we live with a dog three times your size, you think you scare me? So she was reduced to playing with the puppy, Charlie Brown. Some of the kids joined in with chasing the chickens, and the other half were entertained by riding the horses. But all were loud. Very loud.

An hour and a half into it Zach was itching to go because he couldn't breathe anymore what with his allergies to cats and all. So we only stayed about thirty minutes more and when we got into the car it was like our own little slice of Heaven with all the noise left behind.

'fess up, please

We just got home (from a place I will write about later) and as we pulled into the driveway I spotted two small packages on the front steps. "What the frig is that?" I questioned. I kind of just sat there freaked out for a minute while I let the known possibilities run through my head. Zach couldn't come up with anything either so he got out to investigate. I told him I was going to stay right there in the car where I could conveniently lock the doors when the psycho killer came around the side of the house.

It was two log/rolls of dog training reward stuff. OK, I'm not explaining it well: Picture a big log of sausage wrapped and sealed up on both ends, you know like the Hickory Farms kind they sell at Christmas? They were like that, but they're called Pet Botanics: Snack Treat Training Rewards. And just the way they were placed, so intentional, each one on a separate step placed a good distance apart like a lovely little display is kind of freaky. Um...there are a lot of people who know that Ginger was undergoing physical therapy for which they use treats as rewards but most of them wouldn't give a crap enough to leave a little present by the door like that, and the ones who would care were all at the same party we were at or otherwise accounted for during the few hours we were gone.

So either I have a stalker, or the people at the vet's office really do like us enough to come on by the house and bring a little present for Ginger in celebration of her completing her physical therapy last week. Seriously though, they've given us big heads there. They take such good care of us, everyone knows us there, and they are always saying that Ginger is their favorite dog. It would be easy enough for them to get our address and we don't live that far away.

Anyway, if the person responsible is reading this, yeah, go ahead and tell me about it because I think I might have a little trouble sleeping tonight.

Maybe it really is genetic

Zach is forever forgetting to turn off the stove and/or the oven. The times he actually remembers are far and few between. I tell him he's going to burn down the house someday. He's generally forgetful like that about most things and he tries to blame it on genetics - there's someone in particular who usually ends up getting the blame for the bad gene.

So today my mother-in-law was over here helping Jacob transplant his little plants that they started from seeds. It's their little project together. Then Zach came home from painting and I made him a grilled cheese. Jacob didn't want one until the moment I sat down. He gave me the pouty face and I was all "You just told me you wouldn't eat one!" So Jan (Zach's mom) offered to make the sandwich for Jacob - which she then did.

Maybe 15 minutes later when everyone was done with lunch Zach and I cleared the table we were walking into the kitchen and felt a scalding heat emanating from one side of the kitchen. I looked over and saw that the front burner was still on medium and the pan had been set to the back to cool. I nudged Zach and pointed it out. He reached over to turn it off and we both started cracking up. "I told you, she does that all the time," he said. Good thing Jacob appears to have gotten the bulk of his genes from my side.

Parking Woes

Today I made a quick trip to the grocery store. This is me pulling in the parking space: I go slow and make a wide turn so that I park directly in the middle of the two yellow lines. Before I turn off the engine I open the car door and peak my head out to make sure I'm not over the line and I'm not crooked. What? That's not normal?

I gather up my stuff and I'm reaching for the door handle to open it and step out. A black car with all tinted windows (read: ass hole) comes flying into the parking spot to my left and comes to a halting stop about six inches from my car. "Are you freakin serious?!" I scream from the inside of my car, but it's no use, the driver is already on his way into the store. I try to open my door but the small gap it provides is not enough for me and my stomach to fit through at the same time. The car is crooked and partially in my parking spot. I have to back out and re-adjust so that I can open the door enough to get out.

For half a second I considered trying to fully open my door anyway, and, oops, slamming it into his car. It's not that difficult to park straight and it's a whole lot more considerate. If I'd seen the driver of the car I would have said something, but he was already gone when I left the store so I'm reduced to writing about it here.

Jacob is D) Not sure what he thinks of our country's current economic situation

When the phone rings at our house now, there's a 75% chance Jacob will answer it. It's getting harder for me to, you know, get up. And also, Jacob is really good at answering the phone.

Tonight the phone rang and he jumped up to get it. He had to say hello three times before he got a reply. Then he "Yes." Then "Six." And giggled, held the phone away from his ear and told me, "I'm pretending I'm six years old!" He put the phone back to his ear, then punched a number on the key pad, listened some more, answered something aloud, punched another number.

I had a hunch what was going on so I ran upstairs to get the other extension. I picked up just in time to hear a recorded voice say "What do you think of the United State's current economic situation?" Then it listed four choices and Jacob punched the number four. Eventually the recording must have caught on and decided it was wasting it's time because Jacob told me they stopped talking.

So I have found the answer to telemarketers. Follow my advice and let your kids screen the calls for you. It's fun for them and you!

Week 30

Today when we walked into the vet's office the girl at the counter exclaimed, "Whoa, you haven't popped yet?"

"Um...no, I actually have a couple more months to go," I told her. She's not the only one who's been making comments like that though, lots of people have. A few weeks ago the obnoxious mom at gymnastics asked me (in all seriousness) if I was really sure that there was only one in there. I'm really starting to wish I didn't have a couple more months. And I'm really starting to wonder if maybe there is something more in there.

This baby moves so much. It moves more hours of the day than not. And constantly. For instance, right now it's still going strong after four hours of activity. It's non-stop, I'm not exaggerating. I think it's trying to punch it's way through my gut or something. I started feeling the baby move at 16 weeks, much earlier than I felt Jacob. At 18 weeks Zach and Jacob could feel it from the outside, and at 20 weeks you could actually see my stomach moving around. I feel it move in several different places at once, as if it's got all limbs stretched out in every which way. That's another thing - whatever happened to the fetal position? Curl up dammit.

I'm trying to think how all this could add up to just one baby. That's going to be one active, non-sleeping baby. Or a pair of conspiring babies. "Hey, you sleep for a couple hours, I'll kick the crap out of Mom for a bit, then we'll switch. Tomorrow you can take the night shift."

What a Day

Yesterday started out like any normal day, hanging around, taking care of the animals, cleaning a little. Then it was time to get ready to go to Hannaford. The moms group had a little tour arranged there for the kids. It was pretty cool. I didn't like the parts where they went in the back and saw that hanging slabs of meat so I hung back and waited for that part to be over. Then they got to see the FORK LIFT in the stock room and the man actually did FORK LIFT things with it. Later Zach asked Jacob about the tour and all he bothered to explain about was the fork lift. Zach asked if there was anything else and Jacob said, "Um...that's all I can remember."





Of course we headed right over to the park to enjoy the cupcakes they gave us so the mere fact that we were at a park for the first time in five or six months was enough to erase all of the Hannaford trip from memory. It was 60+ yesterday and everyone was overdressed because we've not been having weather like this. In fact just a couple weeks ago we were still getting snow. But the kids had a blast and so did the moms. We were all having such a great time that we were completely unaware of the time. We ended up staying at the park for three and a half hours! Jacob and I didn't get home until after four. I had tons of unpacking to do and animal care so I put a video on for him and don't you know he fell asleep sitting up before the end of the video.


I tried to wake him an hour later and I got punched in the face (accidentally) . Another hour later and he was finally ready to get up but it was tough going for a while. The transition out of sleep and back into the waking world was not an easy one. Jacob decided he wanted a quesadilla (someone help me on the spelling here) for dinner, for which I use tortilla wraps to make. They've become a staple in this house in the last couple years so the fact that we didn't have any tortilla wraps did not make Jacob happy.

For the next 17 minutes he carried on about it. I lasted for 10 minutes just sitting on the couch next to him reading my book while he cried, screamed and chanted over and over "I want a quesadilla!" After 10 minutes I told him I couldn't listen to it anymore, I was going upstairs to read, please come get me when you're ready to make another choice. I only lasted seven minutes up there because then Jacob's tantrum turned into hyperventilation and I realized even though he was still at it with his little mantra, it had probably slipped into crazed mode where he was no longer aware of the words coming out of his mouth. I picked him up and snuggled with him on the couch until he calmed down and politely asked for a grilled cheese, which was the original alternative I'd offered him. Not really a meal of substance but he had milk with it and watermelon to 'hold him over' as he's been saying.

As soon as he got that first bite of watermelon into him he turned back into my sweet boy. The rest of the night was all love and pleasantries. We read five books then went upstairs to fold laundry, which Jacob had been impatiently awaiting since the beginning of book number 1. Do you know any other four years old who love to fold laundry that much? Jacob and I plowed through three baskets of it, all the while he was going on about "Daddy is going to be so proud of me that I folded all his clothes!" We chatted a bit and I told Jacob how glad I am that he's my little boy and how much I love him. He replied that he's so glad that Zach and I are his parents and he loves us more than this (arms stretched toward the sky). He's really glad he has us as parents because if he didn't the aplice (police) would come take him away. Well, yes, in a way I guess.

Then it happened. Jacob asked if he could stay over at my mom's for the night. He'd actually asked the night before but I knew they were out so I suggested the following night instead. And he remembered. I dialed her number and he got on the phone. He made small talk when she answered and then, "MamMa, I was thinking of staying at your house tonight?" When I got on the phone my mom was practically squealing with delight. What was I going to say? I told her that if he was to stay there were conditions. First I laid out the circumstances of the day - that he'd just had a two hour nap, that I was too tired to drive him up there - she agreed to come get him. Then I told her that she'd have to sleep with him (that was a given) and that she'd have to be open to the possibility of me calling at 3am and/or just showing up in their house at 3am. All of that was fine.

Jacob pranced about packing a bag with all the necessities and then Zach finally came home at 9:30. He and Jacob sat and had some quality time together while they waited for my mom. We heard her pull into the driveway and I said "I'll go unlock the door." But I was too late, Jacob was already in mid air, taking a flying leap off the couch and Zach's lap, onto the floor, two giant steps over to his bag by the door, picking it up and hauling it over his shoulder, shoving Pilchard under his arm and pushing past me to get out the door.

Uh...

Zach and I just stood there with our mouths agape. Then we said our goodbyes and Zach carried him out to the car because Jacob already had his slippers on. And that was it.

We didn't know what to do with ourselves the rest of the night. 10 minutes after Jacob left I was the kitchen making dinner for Zach and he was milling around in the fridge. He'd previously seemed nonplussed by Jacob's willingness to leave us, but all of a sudden he turned around and said "How the fuck am I going to sleep?!" And there it was. He's just as much of a sissy as me when it comes to sleeping alone. We really like our kid, and we really like sleeping with him at night. And Jacob wouldn't have it any other way either. We really didn't know what to do. Eventually we had to stop putting it off and go up there to the empty bed. And we got through it. But if there's a lesson to be learned in here, maybe it's that it really is true what they say about attachment parented kids, that they do inevitably come to a healthy sort of independence and that we never pushed it or forced Jacob to do things he wasn't ready for, so that when he is ready he can be secure in the knowledge that we're here when he's ready to come back home.

And so that's why you're getting an overly detailed post about what is probably a really boring day to any outsider. It's because I'm alone in my house in the early morning and have nothing better to do.

Dear Jacob: March 2008

Oh Jacob. You are too much lately to just say 'Dear Jacob'. This month you get an 'oh', as in 'OH BOY'.

You are too much these days. I take my eyes off of you for a minute and you're into something completely new and fascinating, like say, packing a huge bag of all your clothes and most important tools because you're leaving for Florida in the morning and you won't be back for six years. You're going with Bob and some of the machines. The bag ends up by the front door where it sits all week because I'm not allowed to touch it. I have to be sneaky and take out clothes as you need them. And then, eventually one day you're onto something new and I take advantage of the bag being temporarily forgotten and can finally unpack it. Although many times I've jumped the gun and gotten in trouble and lose a little trust from you.

One of your other things lately is rearranging the furniture and moving around different objects in the house as you see fit. You get these big ideas of how things should be and then just act on them. Consequently, I can find anything in this house when I need it anymore. I have to be sneaky about fitting those things back into their original places as well.

Some days you just get so hyperactive that all day long we're telling you to stop yelling, to keep your voice down. You yell at the top of your lungs about everything. In your pretend play, at the dogs, when you're outraged by something or just when you get excited about something. Oh my God it's the most frustrating thing. We have to scream at the top of our lungs to be heard over you so we can tell you to stop yelling. And then you still don't stop. And when you do, five seconds later you're yelling about something else. The yelling also usually accompanies the running around like a maniac. Holy crap spring can't come soon enough.

Lately you're all about your friends coming over to play, but you never want to go anywhere, always dragging your feet about it. It was taking all my energy to get you out the door, and it's not like I have much energy left after getting myself ready. About halfway through the month you switched and all at once it's ok again to go places and you're the same happy kid you've always been. I think this has largely to do with the class that I was taking and the fact that it threw off your routine. Actually, until that point I was sort of unaware that we had a routine. Maybe not so much as in a schedule, but in our own little way. And within a week of my class ending, and things getting back to normal around here, you were suddenly back to your old self again.

Although I say you're back to your old self, one annoying behavior that has remained is that on some days you act as if nothing ever goes your way and you whine about it. You can go on for a long time whining about a certain thing, but on the upside I'm sort of building up an endurance for it because I can go longer and longer now just ignoring it. This avoidance method doesn't work all the time and often I just have to do something to shut you up. That usually involves taking a privilege away. The privilege loss works to quiet you, but you're also learning from it. Somehow you've gotten the idea that it's a two-way street in that regard and you try to take privileges away from me. This is pretty funny.

My class ended just in time because that's when Daddy's busy season started up at work. In addition to all the crazy stuff at the college, Daddy's been working on two different jobs simultaneously, one a bathroom remodel and the other just a paint job. This is the time of year we hardly ever see him because he's working 12-14 hours each day. When your daddy is home, you spend most of your time attached to his body in some way, most usually on top of his head, or on top of him in some regard. You guys love to wrestle. It's all you ever want to do with him now. That and play "Eat My Ear" or it's companion game "Eat My Nose" - incase this is not self-explanatory it's where you make us pretend that we're eating one of your body parts. Fun.

I can really see your spiritual development occurring in these last couple months. About once a week on average you do this freaky thing where you suddenly state out loud the thing I am thinking about at that moment. I mean you don't announce what I am thinking, but you voice aloud the same thing that is on my mind. Last week we were in the backyard playing on one of the nicer days and I was looking around at all the leaves leftover from last fall thinking that we should rake them up and burn them in the fire pit. From the other side of the yard you came over and asked me if we could have a fire in the fire pit. The last time we did that, or even talked about it was last summer, so it's not like it's something that happens a lot.

Also, you and I talk to each other about our dreams when we wake up. Most of yours seem made up on the spot, but sometimes you talk about them unprompted, and you get the idea of dreaming and appreciate hearing what I have to say about my dreams. And you really love talking to the baby, kissing the baby, hugging the baby. Anything to do with the baby. People seem surprised to hear me tell them that you totally understand what's going on and what's going to happen when the baby is born. I don't think it's such a huge step for a kid like you. From the beginning I knew you'd want to be at the birth and I decided that was ok with me. So that's the plan for now, and incase you change your mind or get scared them we have a back up plan. But I think you can handle it.

Speaking of the baby, you wanted a girl for the longest time, but then you bounced back and forth between boy and girl for a while. Finally you settled on wanting a boy. Somewhere along the line you got the idea that if we have a boy he too can become part of the work crew that you and Daddy make up. Then you decided that it would be a good idea for me to have eight children all together, all boys. Then you'd have a really big work crew. And the only acceptable name for this baby is Bob. If that baby should happen to be a girl, I am to name her Wendy. When I argue that I don't like those names for the baby you tell me that it at least has to be a name from Bob the Builder. We'll see about that.

So overall this month, you've left me wondering who's really running the show around here.

The Great Egg Hunt

Where have all the Cadbury eggs gone? In my mind they are the traditional Easter candy - even though most people I know think they are nasty. It's what I remember from all my Easters growing up. This year I had wanted to put a Cadbury egg in Jacob's Easter basket so I looked for them in the stores well before Easter. I never had any luck finding them, but I figured that I could definitely find them just as easily after the holiday was over because there is always tons of leftover Easter crap for 75% off.

I'll tell you, I have looked in over a dozen different stores in the past week and a half. I haven't found a single Cadbury egg - well that's not true, I did find two in the discount bin at Price Chopper just after Easter. One was half unwrapped and the other had a bite mark in it! I declined purchasing either of those, but since my search has widened so much I'm thinking maybe I should have settled for them. Actually, I have found a decent amount of the nasty caramel ones, but I want the original. Is that so much to ask for? With it being almost two weeks out from Easter I think I'm going to call 'uncle' on this one...