Day 72: Go Fly a Kite

Jan bought a kite with Jacob, an octopus, and he had a lot of fun flying it on the beach. Jacob actually did really well with the kite. I wasn't involved with the whole process so I can't say if it was easy or not, but I was a little jealous that Jacob took to it so easily. I have no talent for that kind of thing.

This photo was taken on the day we went up to Sea Isle City to visit with the cousins again. They all had a blast burying each other in the sand and riding the waves.

Day 71: The New Face of Back Woods IPA

I'm not clear on the entire story, but then again, I'm not clear on most of the things that happened on our trip. This (the missing tooth) happened before we got to Cape May, which accounts for why I don't have my facts straight. Apparently Richard was in the ocean when this happened? He either lost his bridge, or lost the tooth. Either way, they both came out and one was lost, the other he was able to save. But it doesn't matter...what matters is that Richard walked around all week like this and it was pretty funny.

He let me take this picture at one point and we had a lot of fun deciding that it would grace the label of a beer, and what the name of the beer would be. Classy, right? I'm pretty sure it's ok to be posting this picture, if not, it's a good thing I'm leaving town one more time.

The only thing that could be more funny, would be to hear how he originally lost that tooth way back before it fell out the first time, causing the need for a bridge in the first place...

Day 70: Rainy Day in Cape May

On Wednesday of our trip, it rained. It was a nice change of pace. We did some different things that day, one being a trip to the arcade. Some of the older, more established (ie, people with money) friends we were staying with had given Jacob hand-outs during the week, ranging from bits of change to a five dollar bill (from Terre on the day she left - listen up kids, it literally pays to be good) and so we let Jacob blow some of that money at the arcade.

On the way back from the arcade, although we had umbrellas with us, the rain had picked up significantly and we got soaked. By the time we made it to the house, the water in the streets was high enough to sweep the little one away! It was impressive how fast the water collected, making it hard to even drive. I let the kids play around in the dirty street water for a while then I promptly took them in for baths.

Click the photo to see another rain picture, and then use the thumbnails to see more public content of the rain.

Day 69: I was fine until then

On Tuesday of our trip Jacob and I climbed the Cape May Lighthouse. Instead of posting a photo of the actual lighthouse, I thought it would be funnier to post this. My reason being: I was fine until I saw this sign at the base of the lighthouse. I really hadn't given the height or enclosed-ness of it a thought. Then I read the rules and all because I'm a rule-reading kind of person. As we got closer to the top, I was less and less of a happy camper. At the top I would hardly let Jacob go anywhere near the edge and I couldn't wait to get back down to the ground.

Prior to that, Zach and I had decided he would stay with Sabine and watch for us and I'd climb with Jacob. He'd had a foot issue going on and we thought it would be a pain to carry Sabine up (plus, when I read the Rules, I found out backpack carriers weren't allowed anyway), but when I got to the top and recalled our conversation and remembered Zach is a little queasy about heights as well, I realized that his 'foot issue' was just a way to get me to go instead.

I do have pictures of us at the top of the lighthouse, but they're not great or anything. For one, there was absolutely nowhere to safely change my lenses, and then there was no one who could figure out how to use my camera in order to take a picture of me with Jacob. "Sure, I can take a picture, as long as it's just point and click...?" I should have just had Jacob take a picture. But click on the photo to see what we did get.

Day 68: Sabine at the Beach

I have a ton of beach pictures, so it's really hard to choose. I'll just take it day by day and go with my favorite. So here is Sabine at the beach. This was the first sunny day we had at the beach. She loved it, obviously. That's the John Deere hat that Jacob passed on to her. My kids were probable the only two kids who wore a hat at the beach the whole week. Sabine loves wearing a hat, and she puts them on backwards like by herself. She says hat, actually, it's one of her few words. She has a lot of words, but the thing is five different words will sound the same and you have to be in her immediate family to be able to catch the subtle difference. Head, hot and hat all sound mostly the same.

Day 67: 2nd Cousins

Some more of Zach's family was staying at another beach town nearby. We got together with them one night for a big family gathering. Here are our kids (the ones with veggie burgers on their plates) with all of their second cousins on that side of the family. The kids all had a raucous time with one another, such a fun bunch. Eight kids between the ages of two and seven...surely some multiples must be involved here.

Day 66: Flip Flops

Zach's mother turned 60 this year, so in celebration, she and Richard rented a house in Cape May. And that's how we ended up vacationing there for a week. Jan has gotten into making jewelry in the past few years. Here are all the flip flops that she made for each of the women who were going to be staying at the house that week. Well, she didn't make the flip flops, but embellished them with her jewelry-making skills. I like this photo because it has a nice beachy feel to it.

Dear Jacob, Dear Sabine

Dear Jacob,

It seems like lately every night when the day is coming to an end or you've just fallen asleep, I start to think about the day and feel bad for being too hard on you. I feel like that most days, and I'm so sad for it. We're constantly butting heads, and I'm always walking on eggshells around you. We have really awesome times in between all that, but the rough patches somehow always creep back in.

There are multiple theories from multiple people, but I guess sometimes it just comes down to a normal part of growing up. After a certain fight has passed and I've had time to reflect I usually come up with something that feels a little like a revelation and gives me hope. In the past, I've decided we had too much time together and we needed a break, or we didn't have enough alone time with each other. I've come to the conclusion that you're bored, or we've been home too much, not home enough, etc.

This time I've realized that you and Sabine hardly ever get away from each other. Even when you're away from me, you're usually together. And even though you get along really, really well, I think it's starting to become too much, because, yes, Sabine has become an extremely (at times) annoying two year old. So I realized the other day when she took a really long nap, and you played for two hours straight with your little animals and did voices for them, had them set up all around the house, that you don't get to play like that anymore - completely uninterrupted and in your own world because Sabine is always butting in. This realization didn't come too late, but I wish it had come a little sooner in the summer.

I've learned so much from being your mom, I'm sorry sometimes it takes me a while to catch on. When you were Sabine's age I discovered the way to get you to do things was to pretend that we were animals, you the baby and me the mommy, and we would pretend our way through what we needed to do. When you got a little older, I figured out I just had to use a funny voice or accent and you'd do what I wanted. These are techniques I'll surely use on Sabine, thanks for helping me learn them!

You're starting first grade in a couple weeks and I am incredibly sad to see you go. You're so excited about school. I think the time away from me and Sabine will do you good, but sometimes I wish it could be just you and me again.


Dear Sabine,

I started a post for you way back before you turned two in June. I was including things like how many words you used and different milestones. I never finished it and now none of it really matters because you are a completely different person. There is so much about you, I never know where to start. These days you can get pretty annoying. You talk a lot when we're at home, but hardly ever around other people. Even though you're talking more now, I still think of you as a kid who doesn't talk yet. Maybe it's because so much of your communication is through gestures and signs, and more of your personality comes out in that way.

You're definitely a caretaker, always worrying about what the animals and if they've been fed, or where they are in the house. You really look out for Jacob, sometimes acting like a little shepherdess, herding him to me when I'm trying to get his attention. You are a little boss. You like to point things out to us and you like everyone in the room to see what it is and comment on it.

You're also really cute and cuddly, maybe just slightly less snuggly than Jacob, but that's only because he is the king snuggling. You really like to read books with us now. I love this, the three of us sitting there reading books, it's just started to become a thing. You are really going to miss Jacob when he's in school. I'm looking forward to seeing how we traverse through our days with him gone.

Anyway, the two of you are right here next to me now, and in this moment it's mostly Jacob who won't be quiet. He's talking about something random - wanting a box of poison. He's trying to get a reaction from me - and he just won't stop. So I have to end this before it goes sour.

I don't think I'm going to try to do anymore of these posts (even though it's been several months anyway) because it's too stressful to capture all the dimensions of you guys in writing. Maybe I'll come back to it someday.

I do, however, want to post these pictures I just took of the two of you. I had this #2 that a lot of the kids in our club have had in their possession for their second birthday, and I couldn't pass it along yet because I hadn't taken your picture next to it with your birthday dress on. I'd been meaning to all summer, and decided that today was perfect because you're two years, two months and two days old today. So before I put you in your jammies, I put you in that dress that will still probably be your birthday dress next year, and we took pictures. You got really into it, as did Jacob. The pictures are so cute, I'm going to post as many as I can so that I can remember how cute and loving you guys can be!

Love,

Mommy

Day 65: Dutch Wonderland

I'd been waiting a whole year to go back here and take a picture like this. Click on the photo to see the one just like it from last year. Last year they look all bright and cheery; this year they look tired and sullen.

We really loved Dutch Wonderland last year, and it's a good thing that we did have an enjoyable first experience because if this year's trip was our first time, we probably wouldn't go back in the future. Last year we were there on a weekday, so it was much less crowded. Also, we had arrived the night before and purchased out tickets for the next day after 5:30pm, which allowed us to get into the park that evening with the next day's tickets. Having those extra few hours there really made a difference. Not to mention the fact that this year we were alone, as opposed to last year when we traveled with my mom and Jamie. It just wasn't the same without them.

We did have a good time, but after the car ride the day before and then the late-night tent set-up, we were all exhausted. It's hard to enjoy something to the fullest when you're that worn out.

Day 64: Tent Camping

Our first stop on our trip was Dutch Wonderland, in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. We first went there last year, and we loved it. So this year when we found out we had an opportunity to go to Cape May, I got my heart set on going back to Dutch Wonderland on the way. We decided to stay at nearby campsite. The tent was actually my very first tent camping experience, save for our back yard. It was less than stellar. It's not that I'm not an outdoorsy kind of person, because I totally am. It's just that I enjoy a 'controlled' environment, and I don't like to be dirty. Dirt is ok, musty, moldy smells make my skin crawl.

Anyway, the whole thing would have been 100% better if we'd gotten there in the light, except we don't travel quickly. The kids travel really well, and without DVD's, we just make a lot of stops. That and the fact that we left 2 hours later than planned, which is actually really good for us. Well, so the best part of the tent camping was waking up to this sight. And I love the Snoopies in the background. Jacob recently acquired that second one, the first one is called Smitty, so I have named the other Bad Smitty (as in his evil twin). Jacob prefers to call him Bitty. I say that's perfect, it's short for Bad Smitty.

Day 63: Yes, we take our camera in hot tubs

This is just one of the great shots that I wanted to post of the April trip but this is the last day I'd prepared to be posting them. This photo won out because I liked the title I gave it. It's from the hotel in Virginia on our way back home from Myrtle Beach. We like to get our money's worth when we stay at hotels so we squeezed in this visit to the pool and here is the cuteness Zach captured from within the hot tub.

If everything went as planned, we got home last night, and if I can upload, and touch-up and all that, our photos fast enough, I can start posting the Cape May photos for tomorrow.

Ahh, it feels good to be home (that's funny because as of this writing, I haven't left yet).

Day 62: Bessie

I can't remember is this ole girl actually had a name, or if I was just calling her Bessie. Either way, I think sitting atop this cow outside the ice cream shop was the highlight of the trip for Sabine. She freaking loves animals and sitting on a cow was the end all, be all for her. Not to mention the fact that it's a really, really cute photo of my kids.

Day 61: Curly Girl

Here's Sabine playing in the sand. She was so cute and peaceful, and her hair was blowing in the breeze; I absolutely love how her hair curls up at the beach and in the humidity. This was one of our favorite photos of Sabine at the time. Zach took this picture (she actually just in the sand of the volleyball court) while I was playing tennis just a few yards away. He was so proud to have gotten a shot that I really liked.

Day 60: Will Trade Sister

Here we are back at the miniature golf course. This picture was taken after we were done golfing, after I'd almost thrown the kids in the water half a dozen times.

We bought this shirt for Jacob last year in a Cracker Barrel while we were traveling to a wedding in Virginia. As soon as I saw the shirt I knew they'd made it for Jacob; aside from the fact that he would never actually trade her. But he is such a good sport that he totally jokes around about it with everyone who comments on the shirt. And it is the most-commented piece of clothing thus far/

Day 59: Wild Goose Chase

Here we are again back on the golf course, but I liked to think of it as the backyard. Sabine was really into the geese and she liked to follow them around. This is my brother again in the photo, he followed her following the geese. He just thinks Sabine is the best thing since sliced bread - I've never seen him like that about a kid. I am trying to figure a way to get his affections for her funneled into paying for her college tuition?

Day 58: Zach and his crazy kid

Ok so I just realized it's Zach's birthday (no, not just now, I'm doing this 5 days ago and post-dating) so I had to come up with a photo of him. So here he is, carrying Sabine in the Ergo Carrier (Kevin and Bethany, take note), and walking with Jacob and Marisa to go miniature golfing. We took those crazy kids mini-golfing twice on that trip and I swore I'd never do it again. They cannot control themselves when they are together. Anyway, the picture is adorable, and how about Jacob in his calf-length baseball socks? It was a phase...

Day 57: Reflections on Sunglasses

This is the one and only picture you'll see of me on this trip because I was always the one taking them. So this is Jessica, daughter of my step-sister, Kelly. And if you can't tell, that's me in the reflection. I take a lot of sunglasses reflection pictures. I don't know why.

Day 56: Beach Building

OK, here's a picture of Jacob, along with Marisa and my brother. He got up from the sun-bathing for a few minutes to participate in the obligatory Uncle Time. I don't think they built anything really amazing though because otherwise I would have taken a picture of it.

Day 55: Myrtle Beach

Myrtle Beach is where we went in April (with my family) and since I never posted pictures of that trip, I am doing it now, while we are at another beach (with Zach's family). This photo was taken from the back patio of the place we rented, it looks out onto a gold course. Here's my sister playing with Sabine. I wanted to post a picture of Easter Sunday when everyone was dressed up, but none of the pictures were decent enough. This is actually Easter, just later in the day. I just like the quality of this photo and it's a nice stolen moment...or something like that. I'm worried that all of these Myrtle Beach photos are going to end up being of Sabine (and not my other child) because, well, she was really cute on that trip, and Jacob was always off playing with Marisa.

Day 54: Road Trip

This picture was taken back in April, while we were driving our way down to SC. I'm posting it today because this is pretty much what we're going to be doing today. Not much has changed since then. Sabine is still rear-facing in that carseat, I just stitched up the outfit she's wearing because it's still too big on her, and that John Deere hat has officially been passed down to her from Jacob. In this photo Sabine is being silly doing funny legs things while wearing Jacob's hat. And I was probably nauseous from having to ride in the back. My kids don't often sleep in the car and a lot of entertaining has to take place, so this image could just as well be from today. I will give them credit though, they are good travelers. And I really hope that comment doesn't come back to bite me.

day 53: This Little Piggy Got a Fracture

Zach's been doing This Little Piggy with Sabine a lot lately. It's cute, he has his own little twist on it, appropriate to our family, one of the piggies has a veggie burger instead of roast beef. Two nights ago Sabine was laying on Zach in bed with her feet up by his face and he was running through all the piggies and it's one of the cutest things to see. So the next day when Sabine was 'nursing' Baby Honey (see Day 50) I looked over to see she was also humming (because she doesn't talk yet) the tune of the piggy ditty while pinching Baby Honey's little tootsies.

I thought it was the cutest thing I have ever seen and that I might die of heart palpitations, and so I was rushing to get downstairs to grab a phone when I, ironically, injured my little piggy. I had to climb over the baby gate at the top of the stairs, which is not a problem, but since I had just cleaned the upstairs bathroom the day prior with a fine tooth comb (actually, it was q-tips) the hamper was still in the hallway and as my foot came down from it's arch over the baby gate, it slammed into the hamper.

I sat there on that top step yelping and whatnot for a good five minutes, and then got up and hobbled off to call Zach. I assumed it was like all the other time and I just had to buck up, but as the day went on my foot got more and more painful and kept turning a deeper shade of purple. Everyone agrees that means it's broken, but that there's really nothing you can do about it. Which is better really, because I don't have the time to make another appointment!

Anyway, the picture really doesn't do it justice, and I swear I'm not trying to be over dramatic, the only reason I put an arrow on my toe is because I couldn't get the damn camera to auto-focus on my toe so I think it needed a precise point upon which to focus. Today it is much darker and spread out, and it's the under side of my foot that is really gross looking.

And that is just one of the many job hazards of being a mother.

Day 52: Farmer Jacob

We've been doing a lot with cardboard boxes this summer - we always have. Currently we have a deluxe cardboard house residing in the front room. Just days after its assembly, it received a back addition, and is patiently awaiting the arrival of a two-car garage. But in the meantime there was this tall, narrow box that was just asking to be turned into some useful. So when Jacob requested a farm stand last week, I knew just the box. You can't tell from the photo, but this thing is complete with inner cardboard baskets to hold all the veggies from our garden, a cash register, a shelf, and a fully functional back door, as well as a full functional open/closed sign. That's part of the challenge of my photo assignment - it's hard capturing what I want to show in just one picture.

Jacob is really proud of the farm stand I built him and we've been playing pretend farmers' market all week. I had to make him cover the front if it for this photo because he went and wrote his first and last name all over it before I got a chance to take the 'internet safe photo'.

Now I won't pretend this farm stand game has been all fun and games; I have been doing a great deal of whining about playing along, as well as no small amount of yelling when it comes time to clean up after the fun's been had, but I will say that when someone asks about how I like being a stay-at-home mom, this is the exact kind of thing I have in mind when I tell them, "Well, we have no money and are totally poor, but I wouldn't miss a minute of it to go to work and be without them all day long." We may be forced to make our toys out of cardboard boxes, but at least I'm the one who gets to be present for the evolution of the box.

Day 51: Art Therapy

Drafting this post in my head earlier today, it felt like I could make it short and brief, but who am I kidding to think that brevity has any rightful place in my life? So buckle up, or hold on, because the description that goes with this photo may contain boringness and you may fall asleep and bang your head on the desk if you're not careful.

Today my therapist asked me if I could journal it. And I was already forming this idea in my head of what I wanted to do, so I told her I didn't think I could, I didn't want to put that kind of negativity into a book that I carry around with me every day. And now that I'm home, typing this, (I have yet to take the photo that I've got in mind, the right characters aren't available at the moment) I sort of understand why I've been experiencing a craving to take this picture. I'm feeling caught between different emotions, going back and forth between being really, really angry and then realizing in the scope of things, it's not that big of a deal.

So I asked the therapist if I should just try to forget about it since no resolution is likely to come of things. On the drive home it occurred to me that forgetting about it or wrestling with the anger aren't the only two options. I need to put it into some concrete form so I can wrap my hands around the experience and shove it into place. I just need to get a hold of it, find it a good home in my psyche and get on with things; things that I'm supposed to be doing, like packing for the beach vacation, mowing the lawn, cleaning all the dog beds and anything else that might have fleas on it.

So here is my attempt at Art Therapy. This is Zach in the Civic, asleep, with Sabine on his lap, grabbing the wheel, at a pretend rest area.

This is why we were at the rest area: We went to visit long, lost friends for a few hours in NYC on Sunday. We took every wrong turn that was possible getting out of the city and that is why at 1am Monday we were still traveling and not yet cozy in bed.

This is why I needed to take this photo: Because someone else at that rest area decided it looked funny and took a picture of this scene while I was inside getting coffee. Except I was already on my way out and was right behind her when the flash went off. She saw me, my brain registered what just happened, her brain registered that those funny people belonged to me, and she went running inside.

This is what happened next: I took a split second to look back at Zach and see what she'd been taking a picture of, then turned back around and yelled, "Hey! Did you just take a photo?" If the bitch would have stopped running I could have just said, "Would you mind deleting that, please?"

My yelling that to her woke Zach, who opened the door for me and I shoved the hot coffees into his hands. I grabbed Sabine because he didn't have any hands left, and yes, someone just took a picture of my baby so my protective instinct made me hold her to my heart. Zach asked what happened and I said, "She just took a picture of you!" When I said that out loud I realized what I had to do. Not because I am particularly brave, or because I have a tendency to stand up for myself, I am neither of those. But because I am damn stubborn and will be heard, but the bitch kept running, so she left me no choice. I still had Sabine in my arms so in I walked with her.

My sister doesn't think that I should have confronted someone with my child in tow (an actual CPS worker), but I seriously had no idea it would become a confrontation. The silly little girl was embarrassed and so she ran, once I met up with her I assumed she would delete the photo at my request. Also though, I was not going to leave Sabine in the car with Zach, who was just coming to.

I waited for her little black flip flopped feet to emerge from under the stall for a good five minutes. When she came out I politely said, "Excuse me, can I ask you a question?" When she ignored me I moved a little closer and started again, "Excuse me, did you just take a photo of my family?" But this time she didn't let me finish, she starting yelling at me very loudly, so that everyone would hear. "Did I take a picture of your baby?! Of course I did! You left your child alone in the car!" She started walking away from me, and I yelled back that I did not and that she was well aware of the fact that I didn't leave my child alone because she saw my husband in the car with her and that's why she took a picture. We were in the lobby by now and everyone was watching us because she was yelling louder.

At this point her 'male companion' (who I like to think of as Ass Hole Boyfriend) came along. A lot of this is a blur in my mind now because I was having such heightened emotions. But she kept yelling the same thing over and over again, and I was not backing down. I think she wanted to embarrass me, and normally I am VERY concerned with how I look to others, but I honestly didn't care because my outrage was so great. And I think that she was proceeding with such indignity, that other people could tell she was the antagonist in the situation. Things went on like this as we moved toward the door (because she wouldn't stand still and face it like a decent human), and that's when she thought up the idea to declare she works for CPS.

Not for a second did I actually believe she worked for Child Protective Services because that's just a stupid thing to say. But also, um, no, if your livelihood is based on caring about endangered children, then no, you don't take a photo and run away. You call the police. You wait for the police to get there, you proceed with the situation calmy. And even if you don't work for CPS and you are just a concerned human being, then you still call the police and alert them that a child is left alone in an automobile. And then, when that mother you're screaming at asks what county you work for, and to see your identification, you hand it over, as policy dictates. You don't let your Ass Hole Boyfriend then get into the mother's face (the mother who is holding a 20 lb toddler) and scream at her. In her face. 2 inches away from her baby's face.

And that's what really bothers me. You don't act like that in front of a child. Me - that's one thing. You don't do that around someone's baby. And I definitely hope you never, ever procreate because God help those children. And it also really bothers me that she couldn't just delete the photo. Seriously, that is all I wanted. Not because there's anything 'incriminating' in it or because I thought Zach's skin was a little off color, or maybe I thought she could have gotten a better angle. But my child was in that photo. I seriously can't get myself enough into her shoes to figure why she couldn't just be a normal human, why she had to react so offensively.

And I know it's not that big a deal that she took a photo of my kid. It's not. But it's her reaction to my request and the way they harassed me that is what makes me feel so violated. It's everything after the photo, not just the photo itself.

I realize there are far worse things that happen to people, like actual crimes that are committed, and I'm not trying to put myself on the level of that kind of violation. That's why I'm writing this, so that I can get it out of my system and get on it with it.

And so getting back to the part where I attempt to make light of the situation, infuse it with humor and make it concrete so that I can grab a hold of it and put it away: You may have taken the photo Stupid Bitch, but I stole it from you in the end. And when you look at the photo and post it to your facebook account, you''ll probably have to look at your ugly face lit up in my car window's reflection.

You peeled away with your Ass Hold Boyfriend, but I got your license plate number:

BWF-8673

Day 50: Her Girl

Sabine and I have a line that we say - I ask, "Who's my girl?" and she says, "Me!" Now Sabine's got a girl of her own. I ask her, "Who's your girl?" And she answers with a coy smile, "Honey..." This refers to Baby Honey, so named by Jacob when he was Sabine's age. He would sit and rock the doll while repeating, "Honey, honey..." to sooth her. So when I asked Jacob what her name should be, he said Honey, of course. And yes I know when it's used as a term of endearment, it's usually spelled hunny. But honey, as in the sweet golden nectar, just fits better.

Sabine doesn't talk as much, actually, I should say she doesn't have as many words and her speech isn't as developed as the 'norm' for her age, but really, she doesn't stop 'talking'. She just started saying Honey a couple weeks ago, and she's been saying Baby for a long time now, it's one of her favorites. The words come out more like this though, "Bebe Honny," so it's just the cutest thing to hear her say it.

Anyway, this photo is from a lazy morning the other day. We were still in or around the bed, and I think Sabine must have been asking to nurse. I'm trying to limit the nursing these days so I probably suggested that maybe Sabine nurse Baby Honey instead. After requesting her Boppy, she did just that. She actually sat there for quite a long time, very peaceful and quiet. I recognize that vacant look in her eyes from my own many, many hours of nursing wee little ones. She's returned to that activity each day since and it's rapidly becoming a favorite around here.

I actually think it's quiet healthy for a two year old to have an activity where they can sit and be still like that, lost in a pretend world; something they can use to reign their crazy toddler energy in with. I think it useful tool to have in learning self-regulation. Sabine is not the first child to nurse Baby Honey. Jacob actually started the tradition and logged many hours breastfeeding Baby Honey, as well as other stuffed animals. And who knows what happened before then because she was given to me as a gift way back when I was Jacob's age.

Day 49: Grasshopper on my watering can

This guy here hopped onto my watering can while I was watering the flower boxes the other day. He wasn't there, and then all of a sudden, he was right there on the tip of the spout, less than a foot away from my hand. Creepy. One would think I'd be happy to have a beautiful creature such as this to grace the day with is presence, but I screamed and nearly dropped the pail. I am fascinated with insects and their tiny, intricate details, but that doesn't mean I like them. On the contrary, they freak me out. After I get in close like this to take a picture, my skin starts crawling and the next hour I keep thinking bugs are crawling on me. But I am always drawn to taking their pictures as detailed as I can. Is this normal? Does anybody find themselves fascinated, yet freaked out, by bugs like this?

Day 48: Proof that wasps are not vegetarian

On Marisa's birthday earlier this week, she and my sister stayed late and had supper here. Since we're a non-meat-eating household, my sister had gotten a little chicken (whose parts I couldn't even stand to look at) for the omnivore crowd. We ate outside, as do the wasps. Long after Marisa had given up on her meal, this little guy kept coming back for more. He'd sit there and nibble for a minute, and then fly off with the piece of chicken. I don't know where he'd go with it, but he (or she) - or someone that looked identical (I don't know, do wasps do the waggle dance too, or is that just honey bees) kept coming back for more. Must have been some chicken.

Day 47: My Little Barbie Centaur

You like? It's a new toy I'm going to be pitching to Mattel. I think they're going to sell like hotcakes!

Not really. Last weekend after Marisa's birthday party my sister and I sat down to go through her (Marisa's) closet to make room for new stuff. First off, simply opening the closet is risky enough; it's waist-high piles of clothes and toys. But we made it through, with minimal refereeing from my mother. See, my sister has a paycheck with which she buys things. I do not. I make things.

I've been thrust into many situations with my sister this summer and I'm trying to understand how we ever came from the same family, let alone the same planet. I don't think I will ever have an answer to that, but I have come to a very basic definition of how we differ:

Nicole: works all day = paycheck = money = buys things
Stacey: work all day making things = no paycheck

I've simply cut out the middle man, that doesn't mean that I'm above having money. I would love to have money, but right now my main commodity is my time. For instance, we brought in a nice harvest from the backyard today so we don't have to go to the store and buy that food. That's because I'm home during the day to maintain the garden. My sister has to spend money to buy those things.

It's a simple equation, but neither of us understands the others' lifestyle. At all. And that's where things fall apart.

Anyway, the whole point to this crazy looking animal is that when we were going through Marisa's closet my sister pulled out things and announced they were for the garbage pile, and I either screamed, "Nooo, RECYCLING!" or "Noooo, I can make something out of that!" or "Nooo, I can FIX that!" Seriously, she wanted to throw out everything, including perfectly useful stuff and I was freaking out because I don't understand why it's so difficult to recycle something instead of dump it. She'd rather have been done with the whole project because she had to go to work in the morning.

So to be funny I took this Barbie head (actually from a Bratz doll) and the body of a My Little Pony out of her garbage pile and said I could make something with them. Then it came to me that they would go perfectly well together. I got out the hot glue gun and viola. And now that I've written about my sister and me and our differences, I see this hybrid doll as a metaphor for our relationship. We are two completely different people, and when we are together we make about as much sense as this freaky doll.

And now that I have gone and assigned the centaur a metaphorical meaning I must call it art and keep it forever. Great.

Day 46: Super hoe

When we were driving up to Camp with Jen and Dan, we had to go through Lake Placid to stop at a grocery store. Super Shoes is on the main road and when we passed it this is what we saw. I laughed my ass off about it, and when we arrived at Camp, Zach and Dan (who were in the other car following the moms and kids) said they'd seen it too and had been cracking up. I know this kind of vandalism happens all the time, but I have to give credit to the 'artist', sometimes the best comedy comes from the simplest humor.

I was crossing my fingers that the sign would still be in this condition when I drove home four days later (this time with my sister and Marisa), and it was. Since I was stopping to take a picture of it anyway, Nicki went in and bought Marisa two new pairs of shoes. And perhaps that's the reason they've left it that way - it could be good for business! I hope they leave it that way forever. Then I can say "I'm un go and git me some new kickers at the Super Hoe!"

Day 45: Wall Art

I took this picture of Sabine while she was brushing her teeth at Camp on the day we were getting packed up to leave. Sabine was wearing a shirt of mine (from when I was a baby) so I wanted to get some authentic Camp pictures of her in it. I recently dug into my box of old baby clothes and will be putting more of my old clothes on her.

My sister said this looks like a picture she'd put in her bathroom, and I think I actually might just do that at my house. Take that Anne Geddes.

Day 44: Eight Years

This isn't really the best picture of any of the kids, but it's cool because none of them are crying yet, and there's Camp in the background. You see, this was just before the shit hit the fan. We were in the row boat, me rowing and my sister in the front. Benny the bug-eyed dog was with us too. I snapped this photo just before my sister thought it would be a good idea to throw Benny overboard and see what he would do. (This isn't as cruel as it sounds, we in a man-made lake and there's a considerable sand bar smack dab in the middle of the lake).

Benny fared well for a couple minutes; he poked around the island, sniffed at some stuff floating on the surface of the lake. Then the wind came in with a huge gust and Jacob's precious Yankees hat flew off his head and into the water. He started crying for his hat, and so I started trying to row back to it, but the wind was killer and we were all laughing so I was experiencing the temporary loss of my abdominal muscles. With the sudden rise of emotions going on in the boat, Benny started to get freaked out that we were leaving him on the sand bar for good.

That's when Marisa starting bawling her eyes out because Benny had surpassed the point where he could touch bottom and was now swimming to the boat. Problem is, he's a abnormally-bred dog whose behavior doesn't really even resemble a dog - he's more of like a gremlin - and his breast stroke resembled someone drowning (not to mention his ever-bug-eyed look); hence Marisa crying: She thought he was going under.

Project Yankees Hat Recovery had to take a back seat to the dog and my sister and I were still laughing our butts off. Actually, she was peeing her pants (her words) and I was struggling to maintain my composure so that I could row the boat. And do you have any idea how hard it is to row a boat to a precise location while struggling against the wind and a boat full of hooligans? Sabine was the one laughing her butt off. She was cackling away, pointing at Benny, as if it was the funniest thing she had ever seen. And on either side of her were Jacob and Marisa, each screaming at me to save their precious belongings.

Anyway, the dog and hat are both safely back in their respective homes, and we all made it out alive without having to jump overboard. It is a nice memory, one I am recalling in honor of Marisa's eighth birthday (Today) because I was there when she was born, and I love her, despite the fact that she often makes me want to throw her out the window!

Day 43: Cannibal Ants

Jen and I were on our way to bring water to the kids, who were playing outside at Camp, when I came upon this sight. I was totally transfixed, as was Jen. I was so happy to have company while I observed the tiny insects because usually no one else cares. Jen is a science teacher so I think maybe that is why she took more of an interest.

We watched these guys for 15 minutes or so - there were two pairs of ants. In each pair there was an aggressor and a victim. The aggressor was tearing the shit out of the victim. For what reason, I have no idea. I don't even know what kind of ants these were. They'd fight for a while and then the meanie would go off and lick his chops for a bit, then come back for some more brutality. We were totally enraptured by this and couldn't figure out what was going on. I told Jen, "See, if we were somewhere with the internet, I'd be all over this." So now that we're back home I think I should go try to figure out what was happening here.

In the meantime, if you know anything about ants and why they might commit such an act against one another, please enlighten me!

Day 42: Red Lady

This little lady was spotted along the old railroad bed up at Camp last weekend. I don't know much about ladybugs...like for instance, are they really all 'ladies'? And there are a bunch of tiny creepy crawlies on the plant next to her (seen on the left in this photo). Are those perhaps ladybug nymphs? I have no idea. Also, is the saying about the number of spots they have true?

Taking photos of things in nature like this inspires me to learn more about them. So off I go to read about ladybugs.